


what kind of plot twist

by chesamu



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2018-12-18 19:59:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 33,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11881752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chesamu/pseuds/chesamu
Summary: my love letter to the voltron legendary defender fandom *kiss kiss*





	1. Chapter 1

Lance is alone in his bedroom, thinking about that sweet sweet boy love. Suddenly, a tear falls from his eye. He sighs, and stares silently at the ceiling.

"Dios mio..." he whispers in Spanish to express that a lot of painful feelings are on his mind.

Allura — Lance's platonic fujoshi friend-who's-a-girl, and the last Princess of Altea, and also a lesbian btw not that that matters haha — pops out of the waste basket in Lance's room. Pieces of used tissue fall from her very beautiful white hair. She frowns. "Hey…" she starts, soothingly, almost motherly. "Lonce ... is something wrong? You okay?"

Lance not even surprised, slowly turns to look at his fellow brown character. His dark brown hair falls across his forehead onto his sky blue pillow. He tucks it (his hair) away behind one ear. "Oh," he says, despondently. "Hey, Teen Space Mom." He lets out a long sigh. "It’s a Boy Love thing. You ... you wouldn’t understand." He sniffles. Wipes away the tear.

Allura, who has read every single yaoi manga published since the year 2009, climbs out of the trash. She moves toward Lance on her knees, and more garbage falls from her hair as she does. She leans against the edge of Lance's bed. "Try me," she whispers.

Lance kinda gets chills by her asking like that. So he props himself up on one elbow.

"Well …" he starts. Nodding the hair from his face a second time. "So. There’s this guy…" He twiddles his thumbs. "And ... I’m ... kinda gay for him … I ... _I think_?" He looks at Allura nervously. "But—"

Allura grips his wrist with her strong fingers. "IS IT KEITH?" she asks, her eyes lighting up. "I’LL BET IT’S KEITH."

Lance looks away from her. Opens his mouth. And closes it again.

Allura grips him ever harder. Stopping the blood flow to his hand. "O M G O M G !! SAY IT’S KEITH !!"

Lance blushes. He covers his face with his free hand. "Yes!" he exclaims. "It’s Keith okay!!!"

Allura SCREAMS. "I KNEW IT!" She finally lets Lance go, and instead reaches over to the trash. She takes out her notebook from underneath all the garbage, and flips a few pages, to show him all of her steamy not-safe-for-work fanart. "I’ve shipped you two since you arrived at the castle!? ... GOD can you believe it!? ... I am SO hap' right now!!"

Lance looks at her sexy fanart, and blushes even harder. "Wow...that's pretty good," he admits. But then he drapes himself dramatically across the bed and raises a hand to his forehead. "But ... alas."

Allura's smile falls right off of her face. Her beautiful eyes glisten with concern. "Wait ... Lonce ... are you really upset? D:"

"Yep." Lance sighs again. "I just..."

Allura puts a hand on his shoulder. Her face is full of maternal concern.

But Lance, who has never been loved before in his life by anyone ever, can't even tell. Langst :'/

Still. Lance's heart stops at the Princess' soft touch. In a totally platonic way. "I dunno what to do?" he admits. "I kinda just … wish I knew how Keith would react if I told him how I felt. It’s ... scary. You know?"

Allura frowns like :( at him. Then she whispers to herself. "This is just like that one anime..." she mutters.

"What?" Lance asks her.

"Nothing." Allura tells him. "Hey," she starts over. "What if ... I play your wingman?" Her beautiful face brightens up. "Keith and I are like super super close!" she informs Lance. "Platonically, of course," she assures Lance. "I could .. you know … tell him how you feel :D Would that help?" she asks Lance, touching his face very supportively.

Lance's whole face brightens up too. "Oh would you!?" he exclaims, touching the hand she places on his face. Then he just grabs Allura by her shoulders. "Thank you thank you thANk you Allura!!!" he screams, right into her beautiful mouth.

Allura smiles. "Haha!! It’s no problem!!"

But Lance keeps holding her. "God, you ... you beautiful selfless princess!! You absolute aNGEL!! G od I could just!!" He stares at his lesbian friend's glistening cocoa mocha skin and glossy lips. "I could … I could just ...  _kiss_  you right now ..." he adds softly.

Allura glances at the camera. Then she shimmies out of Lance’s arms.

"Okay!" she says. "I'm gonna go look for Keith!" She sweats.

And she leaves. 

 

☆

 

Allura walks out of Lance’s room giddily.

And as soon as she shuts Lance's door behind her, her other female teammate Pidge comes walking up the hallway.

"Hello Pidge !!" Space Mom yells to her fellow teen. "AAA I've got news!!"

Pidge smiles back up at Allura, craning her neck all the way back to see the taller girl's face. "Oh !! Me first!!!" she insists. "So, see the material in this petri dish ??? Well, I discovered it yesterday and I think this could be the answer to time travel and maybe even curing most fatal diseases back home on my planet earth!!! :DD"

Allura nearly falls asleep. "BORING!!" she yells, waking up. "Guess what Pidge!!! KLANCE IS REAL!! IT’S HAPPENING!!!!!"

Pidge practically CHOKES. "WH- HOLY SHIT!!!!" She smashes her petri dish onto the ground. "fUCk my news !!! tELL ME EVERYTHING!!!!!!!"

Allura, grins. "I promise I will! Or I’ll let you know once I put it on my blog!" she promises. "But first I have got to find Keith. Any idea where he could be hiding right now!?"

"Yea yea yea!!" Pidge nods enthusiastically. "Just saw him go into the training deck while I was removing our spy cam footage! AAA I’M TOTALLY FANGIRLIN OUT RIGHT NOW!!"

Allura grabs her younger girl friend's hands, crushing them instantly. "I KNOW I KNOW!!!!" she agrees.

Then they both bounce in place for a bit, high pitch screaming together. Allura because she's excited. Pidge because her fragile peachy hands are being crushed.

Then. They just depart.

 

☆

 

Allura skips into the training deck. She stops when she sees Keith, her gay boy friend (as in friend that's a gay boy) and skids in her tracks. "OMG!" She grins. "KEITH! GUESS WHAT!!! :D"

Keith, turns around from where he was training. He's always training. That's all he does. "Oh," he says, a smile spreading across his face. "Hey Lu … wow." He observes her. "You look really nice today," he compliments her, in an explicitly platonic way (he's gay).

Allura smiles back. "Aw..." she says, flattered. "Thank you :)"

Keith smiles back. Shyly, cause he's gay and girls make him uncomfy. "You’re welcome :)"

Allura stops looking into his eyes for a moment and then shakes her head. Trying to remember the reason she walked in there. "Oh, bUt liSTEN!!!" She clenches her fists together. "YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST LEARNED >:O"

Keith raises his thick raven eyebrows. "Well someone’s excited, ha. So cute :)" He nods with interest. "What was it?"

Allura bounces up and down. And her chest bounces around as well. "IT’S ABOUT YOUR CRUSH!"

Keith looks at her with even more interest. "Oh?"

Allura smiles with fujoshi excitement. "DUDE HE LIKES YOU!!!!!!!!"

Keith blinks at her for a second. "Wait …………… Who?"

Allura blinks back. "!?!? … Lance !?!?"

"Oh … oh! Lance!" Keith nods, remembering. "Oh, but I thought that Lance was het?" he says, confusedly.

Allura waves a hand. "Well, yea??? He WAAAS but then YOU turned him BI!!!" She squeals. She grins. "He’s sO gay for you!!"

Keith raises a hand over his mouth. "Oh..." He nods slowly.

Allura is confused. She stops jumping. "!?" she says. "OH? IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY?"

Keith looks at her. "Um." He doesn't know what to say. Allura is fangirling her ass off. She can't contain herself practically. "Yes?"

"HOW IS THAT YOUR ONLY REACTION??? I MEAN CAN YOU NOT BELIEVE IT???" she asks Keith. "AAA !!! I CANNOT BELIEVE I KNEW !!"

Keith's voice is quiet. "Yea ... guess you were right."

Allura winks at him (platonically). "As I ALWAYS am ;)" she jests. "Remember every time we spent hours alone at night talking, cuddled up in one blanket, during our platonic sleepovers?"

"Oh yeah. How could I forget?" Keith asks, a soft look on his face.

"WELL???" Allura continues. "I TOLD you didn’t I? That Lance likes you!?"

"That you did." Keith agrees, the soft look fading into dismay. "You’re always good at figuring things out, Allura. So smart."

Allura gestures vaguely towards the door of the room. Waits for Keith to move. But her boy friend only pouts in confusion.

"Soooooo?" she prompts. Gesturing more urgently.

Keith quirks a brow. "Uh …… sooo … what?"

Allura lets out a sigh. Exasperated. "Oh my fuckin god ... WHY are you so bad at this???" she asks. She places her hands on her childbearing hips. "Do you need me to spell it out for you Keith???" She's thrown off by his hesitation, but not by much. Gays always need the help of a nearby yaoi fangirl to figure out what they want. She's read about this before.

Keith thinks for a bit. "Probably?" he tells her finally.

Allura lets out a loud sigh. "SOOO go tell him you like him BACK you truflian meringue!!!!" She laughs. 

"Oh … oh yeah … hmm."

Allura stops laughing. "Hmm? What is the hmm? Why the hmm? There isn’t any time for hmm! What’s wrong!?"

Keith shifts on his feet. "Listen..." he starts carefully. Hesitant to meet her eyes. "I know you ship us pretty hard … me and Lance."

Allura's eyes transform in literal stars. "You two are my O T P ♡♡♡"

"Right … uh ... Just one problem."

Allura just clutches her pearls. She fears nothing more than her one-true-pairing being threatened. "What...?" she dare asks. Her whole world is ... falling apart. Without her O T P ??? Life ?? Is meaningless ?????

Keith studies her expression. Chews on his lip. "I'm..." He hesitates. Struggles. Seems to change his thought mid-sentence. "I'm just ... probably ... not as good of a kisser as Lance hopes I am? Yeah that's it. I'm afraid :/ you know?"

Allura stares at her platonic boy friend for a bit. "What?" she squawks. 

Keith shrugs. Shoves his hands in his pockets. "Maybe ... I should ...... practice first?" he suggests.

"I..." Allura shakes her head. "WHAT!?" She frowns. "Come a-fuckin-gain?"

Keith scratches his head. Shrugs. "Kissing is kinda important???" he insists. "If I fuck it up … he might dump me."

Allura does a double take. "……………" she says. "Keith... I highly doubt that..."

Keith doesn't look too sure. "I dunno :/"

Allura steps closer to him. "Listen," she begins. "I've already read aaall kinds of boy love manga." She touches Keith's shoulder, but then pulls back her hand when he winces. Because he's gay and she's a woman and her touch burns him like dry ice. "Look. Lance is not gonna  _dump you_  over that, Keith. Bi bois don't do that. If he dumps you, it'll be because he's ashamed of his sexuality or bc his POC of color family is all backwards and homophobic, unlike white families. Don't worry about kissing."

Keith shrugs. "Fair," he admits. "But I’d rather not suck at it."

Allura considers this. This could be another chance for her to witness more Boy Love if she's crafty. "I guess..." she starts. And then a smile crosses her face. "Okay. What can I do to help? Want me to call Hunk so you two can—"

"Uh," Keith interrupts. "Actually. Well. You're Lance's friend, right?" He clears his throat. "At least. You get along with him waaay better than I do. I mean, technically speaking. Allurance is more probable than Klance. Almost."

Allura considers this. "I mean?" She nods. "Well Lance used to have this crush on me so, haha, I kinda couldn’t help befriending him after a while to be honest lol but Keith, I mean he’s actually so sweet! And nice! Once you get to know him it's—"

"Sooo," Keith interrupts again like the anti-woman bitch that he is. "Maybe if I practice kissing ... you." He looks Allura in the eye. "You could then give me some advice? A-and then report back to Lance, of course."

There's a long pause. 

"Sorry, was that weird?" he asks.

Allura tilts her chin. "Kinda???" she answers, her voice high pitched a bit. "I mean ... I don't get it."

Keith frowns. "Get what?"

Allura looks at him. "You realize that I’m a girl ... right?"

Keith nods. "Yea."

"And you’re gay."

"Yes."

"As in not bi or pan."

"Exactly."

"As in not into girls."

Keith gestures vaguely to his pale face, dark emo bangs, and anime-esque eyes. "I think the answer to that is pretty obvious."

Allura just ... stares at him. "???" she says. "I'm just."

"Nervous?" Keith bites his lip, looks her up and down again.

"No ... confused?" Allura shakes her head. Some of the left over trash from Lance's wastebasket falls from her hair. "Are you … are you like … hitting on me right now?" she asks, noticing suddenly that Keith is standing extremely close to her.

Keith's eyes widen. "Uh ……………… no."

Allura frowns.

"I meant like..." Keith struggles to form his words all of a sudden. "Platonically."

"Platonically," Allura repeats.

Keith nods.

"You want to practice kissing."

"Yes."

"Romantically kissing."

"Yep."

"With me."

"Ya."

"Platonically."

"Yes."

Allura glances at the camera.

Keith tilts his chin. "What is it...?"

Allura makes an -_- face at Keith and crosses her arms. "You realize that I don’t believe you. Right?"

Keith laughs a little. "Why? Because I'm part Galra?" He nudges the Princess with his shoulder. "Thought you got passed that."

Allura rolls her eyes. "Ugh," she mutters. "Stop it ..." She nudges him back. "It wasn’t like that. And you know it." She dips her chin and looks at the floor.

"I'm just saying..." Keith's head moves a bit with her movement. "It’s kinda funny that you’d willingly set me up with your friend when you don’t trust me?"

Allura looks away. And sucks her teeth.

"C'mon Allura." Keith leans a bit more until he catches her eyes. "If I'm so bad to you, why set me up with Lance? I don't get it."

Allura looks at the floor some more. "I don’t think you’re bad ... okay?" she admits in a soft voice. "And I do trust you."

Keith is quiet for a moment. "I trust you too," he tells Allura. His voice even softer. And they look at each other for a moment.

The look in Allura's eyes is as soft as her voice. And Keith's expression mirrors hers.

But she still doesn't say anything.

"Lu...?" Keith asks carefully. He hesitates before stepping into her space even closer than before. "Why are you pushing me away?"

Allura scoffs. Gently. Looks away. Shakes her head again. "I'm? ... I'm not?"

"Yeah ... you kind of are."

There's a twinge of pain in her platonic boy friend's voice. But Allura only shrugs noncommittally. "What makes you think i’m pushing you away?" she asks. "I'm not pushing you away. I don’t push people away. That’s not a thing that I do."

Keith imitates her by crossing his arms. "You realize that I don’t believe you. Right?"

Allura barely smiles. "Please," she says. "You're not nearly as funny as you think you are."

Keith smirks. "You think I'm funny?"

Allura frowns at that. "So? Does it matter?" She furrows her brows. "And it's not like what you believe makes a difference, anyways. In what's canon and what's not. So who cares."

Keith's smiles turns sad after that. "You’re right," he admits. "Hm. Maybe I just wanted you liking me to be true."

Allura hesitates. But then she looks up at him again. "... Keith?"

"... Yeah?"

Allura, holding his gaze this time, "... You did a decent amount of pushing me away too, you know," she reminds him.

Keith looks at her. Chastised but also glad she's being honest with him. "I ... I know." He studies her face. "I'm sorry, Lu."

Allura holds his eye contact, but then drops her lashes again.

She just. Smiles. "I don’t want you to be sorry! I just!! I want to MOVE ON Keith!!" she says, smiling so brightly it hurts him. "Enough of this nonsense !! Ha !! It’s not as if YOU’RE INTO ME or as if we’re secretly pining for each other or something? You ... a pale ... Asian dude ... lusted after by everyone ... and me? Just this ... too good to be true black princess ??? Boring. Uninteresting. What kinda nonsense-You and LANCE are supposed to be in love! You're suppose to love him! Check the consensus!! This is your story ... not mine!"

Keith looks her in the eye. "Is it?"

Allura raises her voice. "YES!!! I mean? It just fits! AND LIKE! everyone agrees it does! And well it’s ... it’s ART Keith!"

Keith only moves closer to her. "You believe that?" he asks.

"Y-yes ? A princess and a knight is boring. Stupid. Even if we are good representation, no one thinks we're worth it, so?"

"Do they?"

Her voice is faint. "...Yes."

"I don't."

Allura struggles to form a new argument. She tries to remember all of the Tumblr posts she's seen about this topic, but Keith is standing so close she can't think clearly. "But Keith. I ... I mean. You and me?" She laughs sharply. "Wh-whAt kind of plOT twist?? No one would buy it! It makes NO sense, it's! It's ... it’s utterly preposterous ... never been done ... you can't just—"

"I can’t just what?"

Allura puts her hands over Keiths as he takes her by the waist. "Well ... for one thing y-you can’t just .. back me up against a wall like this ..."

Keith holds his platonic Princess buddy ol pal steady against the wall of the Castle's training deck by her hips, and presses his body against hers. Her chest smushes against his. Allura's breaths are hot and sugary against his mouth, and Keith breaths are hot and fiery against hers. "Sorry I pushed you away, Lu..." he tells her carefully.

Allura only looks at her bestie. Half of this BROTP. It's all she can do to keep her eyes on his. It's like she's out of words.

"I'm not gonna bail on you again."

"...... Keith."

"So is that ... a yes or no?"

 

☆

 

 

Three hours later, Lance looks around for Princess Allura but he can’t seem to find her anywhere.

After checking practically every where else, Lance wanders into the recreational room. There, he finds Hunk.

Hunk is minding his own business and radiating sunshine. Doing absolutely nothing. Meditating, probably. Lance can't tell. Hunk is just staring at the far wall with a smile on his face. Who cares. It's his usual sunshine radiating behavior.

Lance walks over to Hunk and scratches his own chin. "Yo, have you seen Allura anywhere bro? I can’t seem to find her."

Hunk smiles at Lance. "Oh yea!!! I saw Keith carrying her from the training deck to his room!"

"Ah! Thanks!" Lance turns. And then he stops on his tracks. "Wait ... Did you say ... Keith was carrying her? To wHere now!?"

Hunk makes a :/ face at Lance. "To his room. Sorry I've reached my quota of lines for this story Lance, that’s all I can sa—" Suddenly his voice goes out. And he turns away from Lance.

Smiling at the camera. But not smiling inside.

Lance waves his hand dismissively. "That’s okay, Sunshine Boi." He hurries out of the room. "That's all I needed to hear >:///"

 

☆

 

Lance approaches Keith's room (the one right next to HIS room interestingly enough *eyes emoji* Klance? Mayhaps?).

He presses his ear against the door. He's done this many times before, but usually Keith's room is dead silent.

This time, Lance hears the sound of loud alternative rock music, coming from a tv or radio of some sort. So Lance assumes that if Allura is still in there with Keith, they must be watching a movie or playing a video game or something platonic like that. And his nerves settle a bit. They're just gay besties! Nothing to worry about :)

So Lance stands up straight again. And he knocks loudly on the door.

The music stops ... and there's the muffled sound of a deep voice and then a lighter voice before a few light footsteps. And then Allura opens Keith's slidey space-door a crack. "Oh!" she says, surprised to see Lance. "Lonce!!"

Lance opens his mouth to speak. But then, he closes it as he looks the Princess up and down. He suddenly notices how disheveled her normally perfect silvery hair is. And the blushy rosy color to her lips.

Allura bites her lip and starts adjusting her hair which is fluffed up all over the place. "Ahh um," she says nervously. "You must be looking for Keith?"

"Yeah..." Lance tells her. He quirks a brow. "Are you okay?"

"HM?" Allura raises both of her silvery brows. "Oh, yes? Of course? Wh-why wouldn’t I be okay? Haha ha???"

Lance rubs at his knife-sharp chin. Nearly stabs himself. "I dunno ... you’re acting ... kind of nervous." He tries to look over Allura's shoulder, but the room is too dark. "What’s going on in there?"

Allura leans against the door frame, blocking his view. "Oh! Oh, that’s um. Well. Keith and I? We're watching a horror film. And. And I'm a bit shaken, ha. You know ... from the. Horror. Just ... gay BFF bonding ... the usual :)"

"Oh." Lance smiles. "Whew, for a second, I was getting kinda?" His voice trails off. "Ha never mind. So, um. Can I talk to Keith?"

"Aaaaaahh," Allura frowns. "Well. You see. Um. The thing is. Dear Lonce, ah, Keith is. Very very shy. As you know."

Lance nods, knowingly. "Ah." 

Allura nods slowly. "Yeah ... :/ You know how guys who look like him are."

Lance nods again. "Yeah. Yep. I totally get it. Pale. Emo. Shy and gay as hell by default."

Allura looks at him, relieved. "You understand. He’s still just a bit ... intimidated by you is all. But I’ll tell him you wish to talk, okay? :)"

"Okay :)" Lance agrees. "I mean, it's wild 'cause ... Allura ..." He steps closer to her. "I don’t think Keith's the one I've been pining for after all ..." He tells her softly.

Allura blinks her huge anime girl eyes. "Whot???"

Lance blushes a little. "Yeah I mean ... I kept thinking about how jealous I always get when you and Keith are acting all buddy buddy? And well ... I assumed right off the bat it was because I was into him! I mean! Don't take this the wrong way, but you're black so ... being into you? Felt unlikely at first. But ... now I think ... those feelings I mentioned are really for—"

But then suddenly!! Keith squeezes past Princess Allura on his way out the door!! "I'm gonna get us more popcorn, Lu," he tells her. And he kisses the Princess lightly on the forehead as he passes.

Lance ... stares at Keith.

Allura ... stares at Lance.

Keith ... stares at no one. "Oh," he says noticing Lance. "Hey man :)"

"Uh," Lance mutters.

Keith just touches Lance's shoulder for a second and then continues walking toward the kitchen.

Lance looks at Allura again, but Allura only gestures vaguely in Keith's direction.

Lance turns, and he catches up with Keith.

"H-hey man," Lance starts. "So uh." He nods the dark brown hair out of his crisp blue eyes. "You and Allura talked for _quite_ a long time in there, huh?"

Keith smirks knowingly. " _Yeah we did_ ," he tells Lance. (His crush??? Most likely?? *takes a screenshot*) "What’s up?"

Lance raises a finger ... and opens his mouth ...

 

☆

 

_**to be continued …** _

 

☆

 

_**wHAT**  is Lance gonna say to Keith ???_

_**wHO** did Lance discover he REALLY has feelings for ???_

_**wILL**  Hunk ever speak again ???_

 

☆

find out next time on !!!

**_whAt kind of plOT twist_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last time on what kinda plot twist lance said smthn about not liking keith anymore and he and keef were walkin to the kitchen to get some popcorn for keith and allura's gay bff movie night SO let us see what happens next *eyes emoji*

"Um ... well."

Lance is walking next to Keith, the shorter gayer dude on his right, on the way to the castle's kitchen from Keith's room. "I guess you already know what’s up," he tells the (slightly) older (by a few months) guy. "Since Allura told you...?"

Keith raises a brow at the tall lanky (slightly) younger (by a few months) dude walking beside him. "Huh?" he says.

They reach the kitchen and Keith opens the door. And they walk in.

And then Keith remembers Chapter 1 of this fic and makes a O_o face at Lance.

"Oh!" Keith says. "Right ... right."

He is supposed to be in love with Lance. It’s what everyone wants. It’s what Allura wants. But ... is it what he wants? 

... Is it even what Lance wants? :/

Keith walks up to the metallic kitchen cabinets and looks for the space popcorn. Lance leans against the counter beside him.

"Yeah..." Keith continues. "Allura ... she uh ... she told me there might be um ... something you wanted to talk about?"

"Ha yea," Lance says. He notices Keith is struggling to locate the popcorn, and nods towards the second cabinet. "The popcorn's in that one, you selfish coward dropout," he assists.

Keith bites the inside of his mouth as a familiar sense of soft outrage washes over him. God. It stings when Lance digs at his insecurities like that for no damn reason. It's so uncalled for? But Keith just opens the second cabinet and mutters a "thanks" anyway.

He may not be all that fond of Lance sometimes. But he's already about to break Lance’s heart.

No use in snapping at Boy Blue too. Last time he made Lance too upset, the dude locked himself in the Blue Lion and cried and didn't eat for weeks. And all Keith had done was tell Lance to stop double dipping when they all shared a fondue bowl at some gala. 

"Anyway. I wanted to talk to you myself," Lance continues. "But I guess we feel the same about talking to each other right now. Kinda ... hesitant and all that," he says gently, trying to empathize with Keith.

Keith is evidently very uncomfy right now ... which makes sense. They are _aloneee_ ♡♡+.ﾟ(￫ε￩*)ﾟ+.ﾟ after all.

And Lance feels kinda bad.

Keith is OBVIOUSLY pining so hard for him ... how is Lance gonna break the news to him that he’s actually into someone else now? :/

"...Yeah," Keith agrees. Then he slams the popcorn bag down on the counter. "Damn it," he curses. "Listen Lance ... I ... I’m gonna be straightforward with you, okay. About the whole 'KLANCE OTP" thing? That everyone keeps talking about? Well I —"

Lance raises his hands and interrupts. "It’s okay man. I know. I’ve seen all the smexi fanart of us already. I ... I just wanna be honest with you too."

Keith nods after a second. "Right," he says slowly. He was cut off from society his whole life (obviously I mean why else would he not get jokes) so he has no idea what "smexi" means. "So. About being honest. When it comes to me and you ... well ... I —"

"I know." Lance nods and smiles knowingly. "Allura told me just now at your door. Don’t worry about it." He tries to make Keith feel better about being a shy emo gay. It’s not like the dude can help it anyhow. He was born that way. Thirsty since birth. Rip.

Keith is stunned. He hadn’t expected Allura to tell Lance the truth so soon. "She ... she did ???" he exclaims. And his voice cracks.

"Yeah, and it’s cool. I’m just glad you’re talking to me now because —"

"W-wait," Keith interrupts. "She _told you_?" He still can’t believe it. He crosses his arms and imagines Allura telling Lance they're like, boyfriend and girlfriend now. All of a sudden he gets a funny feeling. The mere thought of Allura claiming him as her own practically activates his particle barrier right then and there. "W-what did she say?" he asks Lance. Playing with the fabric of his gloves. "Like. How did she word it, exactly?" He’s blushing a little bit. (I mean he’s gay and alone with Lancey-Lance after all. *screenshot*)

Lance tries to do this carefully. "Ah, she just said you were shy."

"Shy?" Keith repeats. And a puzzled look crosses his face. "I don’t act shy around her? Do I?" He thinks for a second. "Do you... do you think  _shy_ could be her way of saying ...  _cute,_ maybe? Or ... or _hot_?"

Lance stands up straight from leaning against the counter. "I don’t know man." Keith is obviously trying to avoid the conversation, but Lance just wants to get this over with. "But look um .. it’s kinda hard for me to say this to your face but uh ... I may have said some things earlier today ... about us ... to Allura ... that I may or may not have ... changed my mind about ... recently."

Keith is still thinkin about Allura’s smooth and sexi Kimberly Brooks voice — _Oh!_ he realizes. _Smooth and sexi! Smexi!_ — and he just waves a hand absentmindedly at Lance. "Oh," he says. "Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry about it. I mean, I'm not gonna lie it wasn’t ... entirely one sided at first. I just feel differently now. You know?"

Lance rubs the back of his neck. "Riiight uh, well ... Okay. Let me just say it." He takes a deep breath. "I may not actually like you as much as I thought I did before ... and I ... may or may not be into someone else now. Someone I think I have a chance with, too."

Keith snaps out of his daydream. "Oh," he says. He raises his brows. "Oh. Well. That was quick."

Lance frowns at the floor. "I'm sorry I had to do it to you ..." he says softly.

But Keith is smiling at him. "Are you kidding?" He punches his arm a little. "That's awesome, dude."

Lance looks back up. Surprised. Keith is faking his happiness rn. Obviously. But ... he's doing a pretty good job at it. "I ..." Lance tilts his chin. "You’re … taking this better than I thought you would."

Keith smirks and raises a brow at Lance. He crosses his arms. "What? You thought I was gonna brood over you not being into me anymore? Lol."

Lance shrugs very slowly. "Well......" he admits. "Y ea? ... kinda ????"

At that, Keith just rolls his eyes. "Look. I'm glad you moved on. That's what life's about." He touches Lance's shoulder. "You know, ever since Shiro's been missing, leaving a gaping hole in my life ... you've kinda started to feel like a brother to me Lance. Even if a slightly more irritating one than a loving and supportive one."

Lance smiles at him. 

"I just want you to be happy," Keith assures him.

Lance stands up straighter. "Wow!" he says. Shaking his head incredulously. "You're ... a REALLY cool guy, you know that? Damn. I had you all wrong Keith! You're like ... the chillest dude I've ever met!"

Keith laughs a bit. Confused again. "Thanks? You too, to be honest. Getting over all of this so quickly." He leans against the counter. "So. Who is he?"

"Hm?" Lance leans beside him and *noms* on some popcorn.

"The new guy you like," Keith clarifies. "Is it Hank? You guys are pretty close."

"Hank? Oh, Hunk. No no no, nah. Sometimes we mess around but uh. It's never serious. It's ... she's a girl actually." He blushes a little bit. And smiles. "Like ... super fuckin gorgeous. And sweet. And brave. And strong as hell, too."

Keith raises his brows. Also noms some popcorn. "Wooow. Sounds like quite the catch."

"Heck man ... there's no other girl like her in the fuckin Universe, I'll tell you that."

"Ha. So what's her name?"

Lance smiles shyly. "Man ..." He laughs a little. Lowers his voice. "I'm talking about _Allura_."

Keith ... stares at Lance.

Lance .... noms more popcorn.

There's a long pause in between them.

"I'm sorry what."

Lance looks at Keith. "Allura," he repeats himself. "That's the girl? The one that I'm into now?" He smiles. "Dude ... I ... I really like her. I think I always have? Don't know why it's only hitting me now, haha. Things like this always hit me so damn late."

Keith just keeps staring at Lance. The strangest smile is on his face. A slight twitch to his eye. Suddenly, it dawns on him what Lance has been saying this entire conversation. 

He crushes the popcorn between his pale milky fingers into smithereens.

"Allura!?" he almost yells. "That's who you're chasing after now? Allura? Our Allura? OUR Princess fuckin Allura?"

Lance glances at the camera. Confused as to why Keith is acting all irritated all of a sudden. "Yeah?"

Keith takes one big ass step towards Lance, and grabs him by the collar of his sky blue shirt (that is dappled in tears btw ... Langst). He yanks Lance so close their mouths almost meet, like in a swimming sports anime or some shit. "Lance..." he hisses carefully, so that his words are not misunderstood. "Allura. Is. My fuckin. Girlfriend," he tells Lance angrily, right into Lance's mouth.

Lance blinks. "..." And then laughs a little. "What?" he asks.

But then ... he stops laughing. His sea blue eyes get all wide.

And suddenly it dawns on him what Keith has been saying this entire conversation.

Lance rips himself out of Keith's grasp. Takes a step back and glares at Keith with all his might. "No way..." he says.

Keith stands straight, glaring back at Lance from beneath his dark anime bangs. He balls his fists. " _Yes way_."

Lance ... looks practically disgusted. "Impossible!" he shouts. "There is no FUCKin WAY Allura likes YOU!"

Keith stomps his foot. "Yes there FUckin IS! In fact, yes She fuckin DOES!"

Lance covers his ears and bends over. "EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!" he screeches, high pitch. "THATS NASTYYY!!" Keith says something to him but he just keeps his ears covered and keeps shaking his head. "Dude that is GROSS! You're not? You're not even BROWN like she and I are ??? You're !! You're K-Pop AF you're-you're ... you're practically WHITE almost!"

Keith stomps his foot again. Mad as ever. "No I'm fuckin nOT?? That doesn't even make any fuckin SENSE!? And what the literal fuck does that have to do with anything???"

Lance almost vomits. "G od ... Nothing! Just!!" He puts up a finger, signaling for Keith to give him a second ... and when he's done lurching he stands up again. "JUST!! Dude? You left her to DIE! Why in the HELL would she fall for you???"

Keith raises both of his arms in frustration. "For the MILLIONTH time! I was the one who didn't think she should come with us on that mission in the first place! AND! I was just trying to do what I think she would have wanted us to do!!! What was best for the entire goddamn Universe!! Allura gave up her DAD to protect Voltron, Lance! She didn't want us to risk Alfor's legacy for her?? And we could have come up with a better plan to rescue her that DIDN'T risk Voltron if we just—"

Lance doesn't even listen. He doesn't want some long explanation. He just wants to be right. Allura! Cannot possibly! Be dating! Keith! It's just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! too weird! He can't explain it!

So Lance just keeps shaking his head. He paces for a bit. And then he stops. He looks up. Stares Keith straight in the eye.

"Break up with her," he demands.

Keith stares back. He blinks. "Excuse me...?"

"You heard me," Lance says. His voice is low. Almost scary. Keith has no idea where this hatred in Lance is even stemming from. He's never ... seen his annoying now-brother-like friend like this before.

Keith shakes his head in confusion. "No..." he says. "No." he repeats. "I love her." He pauses. "A-and maybe, she loves me..."

Lance scoffs. "Well? Yeah? Probably?" he shrugs. "Everyone secretly loves you, Keith. Even the people who hate you just wanna bone you! That's not the fuckin point. YOU just can't love HER back. It's too ??? God, dude. It's too fuckin weird."

Keith shakes his head minutely. "How ... how is it weird?"

Lance gestures vaguely. "I dunno?!?!?!?!?" He scoffs some more. "It just IS dude, like? Stop pretending you don't feel it too?"

Keith furrows his brows. "I don't???" He dips his chin. "I love Allura. And I dunno what everyone is so mad about."

Lance stares at him a second. And then he laughs. "Dude ... I tried to ask you nicely." He rolls up his starry blue sleeves. "I don't wanna have to fight you, Keith."

Keith almost laughs right back. "Pffft...?" he says, stepping back and scoffing a little. "Like you even could!?!?"

But Lance is deadass fuckin serious. "Break up with the Princess. Or I'm throwing the first punch."

Keith looks at Lance. And he looks at the clock. They've been talking for a full fifteen minutes. Allura might be wondering where the hell he is by now. So he takes off his fingerless gloves. Might as well get this fight over with.

"I'll never break up with Allura. Not unless she breaks up with me first for some unforeseen reason."

Lance shakes his head in disgust. 

He lunges for Keith. 

But Keith is too fast. He dodges Lance's punch. And does a front flip. Anime video game music starts to play out of no where. Then Keith swings his own fist at Lance.

And he nearly knocks out his fellow teen in one blow — but Lance retreats just in time.

"W-wait wait wait!" Lance screams!!

Keith's fist makes a 'skrrrt' sound and comes to a halt in the air.

"Stop!" Lance puts up his hands. And Keith does stop. Keith stands above Lance a moment ... and then pulls back his glove-less fist. "I ... I don't actually wanna ... fight you, man," Lance admits. And he falls back against the counter. "Just. Just do whatever you want." His voice is quiet.

Keith's voice is even quieter. He can't believe ... he almost ... fought . . Lance ...

Wait.

No. Actually he can.

They fight all the damn time.

Just you know ... never physically.

Never like this.

"I intend to," Keith answers Lance eventually. The taller not-as-gay boy stands up again.

Lance nods, a little regretfully. And looks at the floor. "The choice is up to Allura anyhow," he mutters.

Keith looks up at him. "Yeah. It is."

 

☆ 

 

Keith walks back to his room quickly. With a bowl of Space Popcorn. Hoping Allura is still there waiting for him.

But she's not. Cause she has a life.

He looks around his room. At his un-made bedding. The sweet candy strawberry flower ocean breeze scent of Allura's hair and skin is still in the air. He slumps on the edge of his bed. Drops the popcorn bowl on his pillow. Wondering where she could have gone off to.

He's sad for half a second.

But then he remembers they both live in the same house and he can probably find her in two minutes.

He's about to get up again and go look for her, when his eyes catch a piece of pink notebook paper folded neatly and sticking out from underneath his pillow.

Keith grabs it. Opens it up.

On one side of the paper is a drawing of him and Lance. Fanart, he realizes. And very steamy not-safe-for-work fanart at that.

In the picture he's ******* Lance and Lance is ** him and *** ****** **** *************** * ********* too. 

Keith stares at the drawing for like three seconds before flipping the paper over.

On the other side is a note. It's written delicately in cursive and in pink glittery ink and it's signed "Lu" at the bottom plus it's scented like sweet candy strawberry flower ocean breeze.

Keith takes a good sniff of the paper. Then he reads the message Allura left for him.

 

_Dear Keith,_

_I had a great time today._ _But, I don't think I can do this._

_No one wants to see us together. And maybe, they have a point._

_I mean. I've been watching your Earthling TV for months on end non-stop. And well. I've noticed that romantic relationships between guys who look like you and girls who look like me, just! Do not exist! They have NEVER been done before! Never! The representation is no where to be found!_   _That's got to mean something! So._

_Maybe I do love you. And maybe you do love me. Maybe we get along well and understand each other better than anyone. Maybe you listen to me and get me in ways no one else ever has. Maybe we could be happy as fuck together. Maybe our love could heal the universe, be something like Romeo and Juliet except we're both the same age and we're not gonna die._

_Or._ _Maybe._ _They're right, Keith._ _Maybe they're right about us._ _And we ... us ... KALLURA ... were just never meant to be._

_I know most people don't understand that it is possible to be both a black girl and fragile at the same time. But I am, Keith. And I ... don't want to be maligned this way anymore._

_Anyone who pays attention to my character arcs knows I have a weak side too. And I’m scared. I don't want to ruin KLANCE. I don’t want people to hate me. To say awful things about us that sting and bring up painful memories. I hate to admit it. But I'm not as strong as I’d like to be, Keith. The hate ... it really hurts me._

_And I don't want it to hurt you._

_You and Lance would make a lovely couple. I'm sure you'll both make a lot of people happy._   _And that's all I want, Keith. To make this Universe happy. To make this Universe a happier place._

_Please. Let me make this sacrifice._

_Let me say goodbye to what we've ... almost become. And let us just be friends._

_\- Love ... Your Platonic Buddy Ol Pal ..._ _Lu_

 

Keith stares at the pink piece of paper in his hand for like three minutes.

He doesn't cry. He doesn't even whip out his knife and stab anything spontaneously.

His eyes just. Sweat profusely.

And he shakes a little.

And sniffles.

Like ........ he has feelings or some shit.

 

☆ 

 

Allura is brushing her hair at her vanity, tears silently streaming down her cheeks, when a foot busts in through her vent.

Allura gasps. And nearly falls from her seat.

The color-coded space rodents she calls friends immediately jump up in front of her, to defend her from the intruder. 

But the intruder jumps down from the ceiling. And Allura and her mice friends see soon enough that it is only Pidge.

Allura rests a hand anxiously on her chest. Catches her breath. "Pidge!? Wh ..? What the fuck? What are you doing here?"

Pidge lands on her feet and then stands up to her full 2ft of height. She's small. But the look on her face could kill a man.

Allura frowns. "You ... don't look happy with me," she observes.

"Cause I AIN'T happy, Sherlock!" Pidge practically spits. She walks towards Allura and bristles up like a Ghibli character with anger. "Listen, Allura! You and I are the two main girl characters in this narrative! Okay! So if we're gonna talk in this fanfic, it's either gonna be about supporting the boys or fighting over the boys!" She jumps up and grabs Allura by the collar of her lacy nightgown. "Frankly, I never thought it would come to this ... but 'tis the way the meatball crumbles."

Allura rips Pidge's fragile white feminine little hands off her chest, nearly breaking them in the process. "What are you talking about, Pidge?" she asks the younger girl, taking a step back.

"Don't play Mary Sue with me sister!" Pidge yells!! "You KNOW what you DID!!!"

Allura just stares at her co-female confusedly. 

Pidge glares at her a moment and then rolls her eyes. "God. You really are dumb as you are pretty."

Allura blinks. Somewhat offended, but mostly confused.

Pidge sighs. "Allura. If you think I don't have cameras hooked up in Keith's bedroom, you've underestimated me." She adjusts her glasses. "I SAW you in there."

Allura almost screams again. "WHOT!?"

"Yeeeah that's right." Pidge crosses her arms. "I saw you! Smackin' your lips all over half of KLANCE!!"

Allura opens her mouth a few times to say something. But she can barely form words. "Pidge .. I ... I'm ..."

"You what? You're sorry? It's TOO LATE for sorry!!" Pidge throws her hands up in the air. "ALLURA what the FUCK were you THINKING!! We've dedicated our LIFE to this gay ship!! Sold our SOULS!! How ?? Could you?!?!? Ruin it??"

"I-I ... I don't know ... I .. wasn't? I just."

"Forget it, just." Pidge angry sighs and squeezes the bridge of her lil nose. "Don't worry about it. You made a mistake. I get it. Just. Help me come up with a plan to save KLANCE! We gotta get those two back together!"

Allura looks at Pidge with heavy sorrow in her eyes. Her eyes even well up a bit. "I ... I left Keith a note," she says quietly.

Pidge looks at her.

"I told him that ... I don't want to get in the way of everyone's favorite OTP," Allura continues. Her voice just gets quieter and quieter. Pidge can barely hear it from waaay down where she is (Allura is mad tall you feel me).

Nevertheless. Pidge can hear the sadness in Allura's voice. And even though Allura isn't a boy character ... something ... inside Pidge ... feels ... sympathetic almost ... though she can't explain what.

Pidge steps a little closer to Allura. And lightly touches her hand.

"Hey...?" she says, gently. "You okay?"

Allura hesitates. But then she looks at Pidge. Wide eyed. And a single tear falls down her face.

Pidge's eyes widen too. Allura and her have only ever talked about fujoshi fangirling stuff. Never not once in their lives had they talked to each other about how they were feeling. Pidge almost doesn't know what to do. But she follows her sisterly instincts and takes Allura's arm. Then she and Allura sit on the edge of Allura's bed.

Pidge's shoulders slump. She knows the truth even if she doesn't want to. "You ... you really like him ... don't you," she whispers.

Allura is silent for a moment. And then. Allura just bursts into tears.

Pidge is stunned!!

"I feel like ... I've failed everyone ... !" Allura admits. And she sobs and sobs.

Pidge shakes her head. "Failed who Allura?"

"The yaoi lovers ... KLANCE ... YOU!" Allura tells her. She cries and cries. Her Altean tears are all sparkly and enchanting. "I don't know what's gotten into me?? You KNOW I've shipped KLANCE since! Well! Since forever!!" She falls over her bed in dismay. "But now... I'm ruining everything. I should have just told Keith I wasn't interested instead of forcing my way into his heart :'<"

Pidge sniffles a bit herself. She's so ... moved by Allura's sadness. But she doesn't know why.

"Oh, come on Allura," she tells the Princess. "That just ... isn't true." She places a hand on her sister-like friend's shoulder. "You didn't force anything ... you just ... get along with him best." Her voice is gentle. "It's ... it's not your fault that he's in love you."

Allura sniffs and sniffs. Then she stops.

She looks up at Pidge. Her eyes are all sparkly and teary. "Whot...?" she asks softly. "Did you just ... say .. Keith is in love with me?" Allura asks.

Pidge nods. And smiles at Allura. Helps her sit up. "Look. I was cleaning out the footage from our spy cam in the kitchen and ... well ... I caught this." She takes a small microchip out of her floofy light brown hair and plugs it into Allura's flat screen holoprojector. 

The two of them sit crisscross-applesauce and watch the hologram play. 

Pidge fast-forwards to the part where Lance and Keith are arguing in the kitchen. 

" _I love her_ ," Keith says in the form of a holograph.

And Allura gasps.

Pidge reaches over and squeezes her hand. "Wait wait ... there's also this," she tells Allura. She fast forwards again.

" _I love Allura_ ," says holographic Keith. " _And I dunno what everyone is so mad about_."

Allura stands the fuck up. Her hands cup over her mouth. And her silent tears keep streaming.

"I ... I cannot believe this ..." she hiccups.

Pidge smiles. Then ... her smile turns sad. "Yeah ..." she says, solemnly. "I guess ... KLANCE is dead ..." she adds. She keeps her priorities straight.

Allura looks at Pidge then, and her princessy face is full of sorrowfulness. "Pidge ... I am so, _so_ sorry ..."

Pidge interrupts her. "Don't be," she says. And she raises her hand. "I can still ship Keith with Lance for fun. It's okay."

"Are you sure ... ?"

Pidge shrugs. "Ya I mean? That's what I'd been doin all this time anyways? It's not like they were ever dating in the first place." She stands up and shuts off the video footage. "Besides ..." she smiles a little. "KALLURA is ... starting to rub off on me," she admits. "You guys are ... kinda cute ... ngl."

Allura looks at her friend with her widest anime-girl eyes. And when Pidge makes her adorable goofy lil smile at her, Allura grins right back. She scoops up lil Pidgie Pie in a hug. "Oh!!" She squeals. "THIS is why I've ALWAYS wanted a sister friend!!!" 

Pidge tries to say something, but her soft lungs are being crushed by her ribs in Allura's strong ass arms.

"Oh! whOopsie!" Allura lets Pidge go. Lets Pidge breathe. "My apologies!!" She giggles. "Um ... come again?"

Pidge takes a sharp breath into her cracked lungs. "I sAID..." She breathes. "Me..." She pants. "Too." She catches her breath.

And then she smiles up at Allura. "Okay. Now that I'm a hardcore Kallurer..." She taps her chin mischievously. "How about you and me go find your boyfriend and fix this mess ;P"

Allura looks back down at Pidge.

And Allura smiles right back.

 

☆

 

Pidge and Allura don't have to look very long for Keith.

In fact. They don't have to look at all lol.

They open Allura's door, a space mouse on each of their shoulders, dressed in their pastel pajamas, their hair tied up in bedtime space buns ... and ... _there he fuckin is! Keith!_

Just. Standing outside of Allura's bedroom ... um.

His hand is still raised, as he was just about to knock. His other hand is clenching Allura's breakup letter in a fist. The paper is completely drenched in his eye sweat.

All three of the teens stare at each other for half a second. 

"hOly SHIT!!" Pidge yells out of no where. And then she just. Fuckin passes out.

While the mice tend to Pidge, Keith and Allura stare into each other's eyes.

"Allura..." Keith breathes. "I ... I was hoping you'd be in here. Um. In ... your room."

Allura nods slowly. "Yes. Well." She gestures vaguely. "Here I am."

"Uh. I ... was looking for you."

Allura clasps her hands together. She shrugs shyly. "Why were you looking for me?"

Keith stares at her a second longer. And that's because Allura looks super duper beautiful right now.

Her long ass billowing hair is tucked into two fluffy space buns, and her face is all radiant and glowy with moisturizer, and her eyes are glittering like a crisp summer ocean, and glowing in her pastel-tinted bright ass sparkly lamp light.

Plus she's wearing this really thin night gown that's kinda see through and just ... very very hot.

Keith swallows. Taking in all her space beauty. "Uh ..." he starts. "I ... I came to talk to you a-about your letter." He remembers suddenly. Trying to keep his deep ass Steven Yeun voice from quaking too much.

But it's difficult. It's always hard to control his voice when he's talking to Lu.

Keith unfolds the letter from his strong boy grip. It's still all wrinkled up and the ink is all smudged and the gorgeous fanart on the back of it is positively ruined.

Allura looks at the letter and then down at the floor (where the mice are now giving Pidge CPR). "Oh," she says softly. She clenches her fingers. "What ... um. What did you want to say about the letter?" she asks Keith carefully.

When she looks up at Keith again, Keith is looking at her so so fondly. There is so much goddamn affection in his eyes that Allura practically stops breathing.

Keith just crumples up the letter into a ball and throws it over his shoulder. "What letter," he asks smoothly.

He steps over Pidge's unconscious body. And stands even closer to Allura.

"Allura..." he starts off, softly. "I ... I pretended that I didn't fall for you for the longest time." He shakes his hand, his emo bangs swishing around. "But I've been pining for you since day one. I just. Knew that wasn't what anyone wanted. What even YOU wanted ... for me to fall in love with a Princess ... to be ... just another dude who falls in love with some girl."

Allura looks down at her fluffy pink pajama slippers. "I understand," she says sadly and softly.

"But ... Allura," Keith adds. His deep raspy voice only getting deeper and raspier. (It's giving Allura chills.) "You're not just 'some' girl." He shakes his head. "You're like .... the most important fuckin girl there is."

Allura looks up at him again.

"I've ... I've been thinking about that all day. It's like you said in your letter? YOU are never before seen, Lu ... the representation may not exist, but ... maybe ... WE can be the ones to break the cycle."

When Allura slowly begins to smile ... Keith smiles right back.

"I mean..." Keith continues. "People are gonna be mad about it. But so what?" He takes Allura's hands, and she lets him. Her hands are soft and tiny. His are much larger and rougher. "People will always be mad. Whether we're together ... or not."

Allura nods. "Yes. I suppose that is true..."

Keith smirks. "It is true. And so is this..." He leans forward a bit. And kisses Allura. On the mouth. (And it's not platonic. At all.)

Allura kisses Keith right back. And swoons after him a bit when he pulls away.

"God damn it, Lu ..." Keith says, in a whisper. He furrows his brows a bit and smiles at her. "I couldn't not love you if I tried."

He gazes into Allura's eyes. And Allura laughs faintly ... smiles at him.

And then Pidge wakes up, resuscitated by the mice. 

"HOLY LINGUINE!" she shouts, and she takes in a sharp breath of air. "THIS IS SO ROMANTIC ;-; !!!"

Keith and Allura look down at her a sec, and then they look back at each other. And laugh.

"So..." Keith gets a little nervous. He'd been meaning to ask Allura this question all damn day. "What do you say Lu? Do you ... wanna be my girlfriend?" His smile falls a little. His expression gets a lot shyer. "I ... I promise I'll do my best to prove worthy. Every day."

Allura looks at him ... and soft smile spreads across her face. She raises her finger ... and opens her mouth ...

BUT THEN !!

OUT OF FUCKIN NO WHERE

LANCE RUNS UP THE HALLWAY

and sKIDS TO A HALT IN THE DOOR WAY

Keith Pidge and Allura all look at Lance

and Lance just !! fuckin GRABS KEITH BY THE BACK END OF HIS MULLET !!

"AH HA!!" Lance yells out. 

Keith falls backwards ... "Huh - ?"

Lance doesn't even answer Keith's question (rude ass!!) He just !! opens up a bottle of one of Pidge's experiment potions that he brought with him !! and SPLASHES ALL of the solution ALL OVER KEITH'S FACE.

"YOU THOUGHT BITCH!!!!!!!!!" Lance chants. "YOU!! FUCKIN !!! THOUGHTT!!"

Allura and Pidge gasp and scream, jumping away. Lance grins. And Keith just falls to the floor.

Keith looks at all the fizzy, pinkish liquid spilled all over him. "The fuck did you just do??????" he asks Lance, angrily.

Lance wiggles his eyebrows. Throws the empty bottle over his shoulder. "You'll see."

Keith squints at him. 

Nothing happens for a few seconds.

But then ... all of a sudden ... Keith ...

... starts CHANGING ... and the science potion takes effect !!!

... there's a big !! POOF !! of pink sparkling smoke in the air !!

AND THEN !!!

Keith ...

... is gone.

 

☆

 

The three teens look around in shock. Even Lance.

"Tf ?? Where did he go???" Lance questions.

"Uh..." says Pidge, after a moment.

Allura and Lance look at Pidge. They see that Pidge is staring at the floor.

So they follow Pidge's gaze. 

And there.

On the motherfuckin floor.

Is a whole ass. Motherfuckin.

BABY.

A **BABY**!!

_AND HE'S DRESSED IN KEITH'S CLOTHES!!!_

Lance Allura and Pidge stare at the baby in utter SHOCK.

And then.

They just FUCKIN SCREAM!!

The baby stares back up at all three of them. In fear D:

Because they scream mad loud!! And it's a goddamn baby!! And that shit is mad scary when you're a goddamn mothafuckin baby!!

"Piiidge???" That's Allura. She turns to her friend, and starts rapidly and nervously slapping her arm. "P-P-Pidge Pidge Pidge!!"

"What! What! What!" Pidge replies, shoving Allura's slappy ass hands away.

"IT'S !!! IT'SSS K-KEITH!!" Allura exclaims!!

"I KNOW !!"

"HE'S!!!!!!"

"I KNOW ALLURA !! I'M RIGHT HERE!!!"

" **A BABBYY!!!!!** " Allura screams in fear. Almost faints. WHAT KIND OF PLOT TWIST !?!?

Pidge screams. Allura screams. They both scream. 

Then Baby Keith screams because they scream and so they STOP screaming but Baby Keith DOESN'T stop screamin.

"LONCE!!" That's Allura. " _WHAT_ DID YOU FUCKIN _DO_??!!"

Lance seems frozen in SHOCK. "Uh..." is all he can say for himself.

"OKAY!!" Pidge yells in her 'let's get down to business' tone. "ONE OF YOU GUYS HAVE GOT TO HOLD HIM!!" She's opening up her laptop, and jumping from foot to foot nervously. "ALLURA!?"

Allura shakes her head quickly. "NooOOO!!" she yells. "I WAS JUST MAKING OUT WITH HIM!! I ?!?! I DON'T THINK I'M ALLOWED TO TOUCH HIM IN THIS STATE?? TO BE QUITE FUCKIN HONEST???"

"HHHH FINE!!" Pidge turns to Lance. "LANCE!! THEN YOU GOTTA HOLD HIM!!"

"Why should I hold him?!" Lance retorts. Snapping out of his stupor. "I hate him! I'm the one who did this to him!! >:/"

"Whot?" Allura yells. "WHY do you HATE Keith now!???"

"WELL—" Lance starts. 

But Pidge interrupts him. "WELL SOMEONE'S GOTTA HOLD HIM! HE'S A BABY YOU GUYS!! AND IT AIN'T GONNA BE ME!!!"

Lance looks at Allura again. But she shakes her head urgently at him.

Lance grumbles. "Ughhh FINE!" he says. And he leans down carefully. And picks up tiny Baby Keith.

Baby Keith keeps cryin and screamin. Clearly his baby nerves are unsettled as fuck and only getting more unsettled by the minute.

"Hey .. hey..." Lance soothes. Like he's done this before. "Hey man .." He pats Baby Keith's back and gently bounces him. "Shhh shhh sh.. It's okay lil guy ... Relax .... It's chill bruh ... It's copacetic."

Baby Keith keeps on screamin.

But soon.

His screams get quieter and quieter.

Allura and Pidge watch in awe as Lance eventually gets Keith In Baby Form to stop crying.

"Woah..." Pidge goes. Impressed, tbh.

Lance rolls his eyes. "Shut up, okay?" he tells her. "I just had a lot of practice back home with my cousins." He adjusts Baby Keith in his arms so that he can look into his eyes. "There, there. See? You're okay, you little dropout. No need to keep begging for attention."

Baby Keith hiccups. Gurgles. And then upchucks and mouthful of vomit into Lance's face. 

Lance nearly drops him. "EEWWW!!" He sticks out Baby Keith at arms length. "AAHAHAGGGHH!!!"

Allura and Pidge, who had been looking at Pidge's laptop for a second, look back up at Lance again.

"EW EW SOMEONE TAKE HIM !!! SOMEONE TAKE HIM RIGHT FUCKIN NOW!!!!"

"ALLURA TAKE HIM!!" Pidge yells.

"I CON'T!?!" SHE PROTESTS. "IT'S??? TOO WEIRD!!!!!"

"LISTEN ALLURA IF YOU DON'T TAKE HIM I WILL!! AND I'LL dEFINITELY DROP HIM!!" Pidge barks at her. "JUST HOLD YOUR FUCKIN BABY BOYFRIEND!!"

Allura screams a bit. "Do NOT CALL HIM THAT!!" She then reaches over and takes Baby Keith from Lance's arms. "AAahh!!" she says. "Please change him back Pidge!!!"

"Workin on it!!!" Pidge yells back, typing away.

"LOnce!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM???" Allura asks again. Still holding Keith at arm's length.

Lance is too busy trying to get the baby throw up off his face. He takes off his T-shirt, revealing his hot swimmer's abs, and wipes urgently at his face with his shirt. "GahhhHH!" he yells. "GOD!! I can't believe Keith fuckin BARFED on me!!!!"

Pidge sits on the floor and keeps typing. She rolls her eyes. "I highly DOUBT that was on purpose Lance, he's literally an infant!!"

Lance growls and keeps wiping at his face. "Yeah sure!! An infant who hates me !!! You know what? I'll bet he just got back at me because HE wants Allura for HIMSELF!!"

Allura shakes her head. "NOOoooO." She makes 'weirded out' noises.

Pidge also shakes her head. "Yeah I DON'T think that's how it works Lance. He's just a fuckin BAby? And last time I checked babies DON'T care much for dating fuckin TEENAGERS." She types and types away. "Okay," she says to Lance in a calmer voice after a minute or two. "Before I ask you WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE THINKING LANCE!! What potion of mine did you use? The Five Minute Baby solution? Or the Five Year Baby solution???"

Lance thinks ... but then he just. Shakes his head. "I ??? Don't know ?!?!?"

Pidge frowns. Sighs for a really long time. And keeps typing.

"Well great!!!" Allura exclaims. She's still holding Baby Keith at arms length. And he's spit up a bit on himself. And he's crying again. "So we don't know whether Keith will stay like this for a few minutes or a few YEARS!??" 

Pidge growls under her breath. "Laaaance..."

Lance raises his hands. Flexing his muscles accidentally (Allura and Pidge can't help but notice, and kinda stare for a second). "I'm sorry!!" Lance says. "I just wanted to get back at Keith!!? I was mad, okay!"

"Back at Keith??" Allura questions. "For what???"

"WELL—" Lance starts.

But then Pidge interrupts him. "Guys !! We REEALLyyyYY gotta find Shiro. And I mean as soon as fuckin possible!!! ... If this is the Five Year Potion ... Keith .. is gonna need a REAL caretaker, as in. An adult! A HUMAN adult!"

Allura agrees. "You're right Pidge. Coran is an adult, but he's never cared for a Human child. But like !? How are we to — **OOF**!"

And just like that. 

Allura falls to the floor.

And that's because, the tiny baby in her arms suddenly transforms back into a teenage boy!!

Keith magically poofs back into an eighteen year old and topples Allura over to the floor unwittingly.

Pidge ... stops typing.

Lance ... stops wiping the puke off his face

Allura ... just groans in pain.

Keith ... just sits up slowly.

"So......." Pidge says after a minute or two of staring at them all. She closes her laptop. "Guess ... that settles that." She looks at Lance. "You used the Five Minute Baby solution after all," she says.

"Thank God..." Lance mutters.

"Yeeah," Pidge agrees. "Other wise, we'd be in for like ... a REEEALLY messed up 'de-aged' KALLURA fic or some shit."

Keith only grabs at his head. Dizzily. "Wh ... What ...?" he mutters. Looking around. "What just .. what just happened?" he asks.

Allura coughs. And when Keith realizes he's sitting on top of his beautiful girlfriend, he quickly jumps off of her. "Oh! I-I'm so sorry Allura!" he exclaims. He stands up. And after a second of bewilderment, he reaches both hands out to the Princess to help her back up. "You okay?" he asks.

"Yes..." Allura says ... slowly. "I'm ... fine ... just ... GREATLY disturbed ..." She takes Keith's hands and stands up. She adjusts her hair and pretty lacy nightgown.

Pidge breathes out in relief. "Thank gOD that ended quickly," she says. "Had you been a literally infant any longer, Allura would have no doubt gotten weirded out and fallen out of love with you, cancelling KALLURA for fuckin sure." 

"What?" Keith asks.

Allura shudders. "God ..." She shakes her head. "Let us all just ... pretend those last five minutes never happened. Alright?"

Pidge nods. And so does Lance. 

"Deal," Pidge and Lance say together, very in sync. (*eyes emoji* Pl-plance??? *starts writing a callout post*)

Keiths looks from Allura. To Pidge. To Lance. Who is just looking at his stained up t-shirt in disgust.

"What!?" Keith asks again. He turns to Lance. "You ... you turned me into a fuckin baby?"

Lance looks over at him. Remembering their beef all of a sudden again. He stands up straight. "Yeah?" he says, challengingly. "Yeah I fuckin did!! What are you gonna do about it!?"

Keith balls his fists. And takes a step forward. "Why the FUCK did you turn me into a FUCKIN BABY Lance!?"

Lance throws his nasty pukey t-shirt to the ground. He steps forward too. "BECAUSE I FUCKIN WANTED TO. And why the FUCK did you steal Allura from me ?!? MULLET DESERT FLUNKIE!!"

"I'm sorry ... wHAT?!" Keith squawks, angry as hell.

"YOU HEARD ME!!" Lance smacks his bare chest muscles with both hands.

"What do you mean ?? STEAL Allura ?? SHE'S NOT SOME PRIZE to be WON Lance!!"

"OH !! SO YOU DON'T TREASURE HER ??"

Pidge raises her hands. Some confusion hits her. "WOAH WOAH ... woah!" she says. "STOP, a sec." She stands and looks up at the two boys she's been studying intently for months. "Wait ... she says .. what the fuck are you two talking about !?!?"

Allura clenches a fist beneath her chin. Both Lance and Keith and also Pidge and the mice turn to look at her suddenly.

"Lonce ... " Allura asks ... carefully .. "What do you mean by .... steal me ?" she asks. Her voice soft and confused ... but intrigued. Especially because. Well. Lance looks kinda hot rn.

Lance and Keith share and angry glance. And then Lance steps closer to the Princess, pushing Keith out of his mf way.

"I mean ..." He walks up close to Allura. And then kneels to the floor, right by her feet. Then Lance takes her hand gently. And looks up at her with his ocean sky sapphire blue eyes ... " _That_ _I want you_ Allura ... that I ... _love you._ "

Allura's eyes WIDEN .... ... and she looks down at the shirtless teenage boy holding her pretty lil hand.

Keith's hands clench into fists. And he looks away. He doesn't own Allura or anything weird like that. So there's nothing he can do.

And Pidge's jaw hits. The. Floor. And so do the mice's jaws as well!!

"h OLY!!" Pidge exclaims after a long moment's silence. "MaMa MiA......." And then she faints again.

The mice are too shook to turn around and care for her this time. 

Lance and Keith are also shook.

The whole ROOM is shook!!

Allura is the MOST shook of them all!!

So SHOOK ... in fact ... that no one speaks to anyone ... for a really ... long ... time .

 

 

☆

 

_**to be continued …** _

 

☆

 

_**bUT IF** Lance ???? loves ??????? ALLURA ??!?!?!?!?!?!_

_**tHEN** does Allura Love LANCE ??? or does she want KEith?_

_**wILL** the gang ever find Shiro !??!_

_**wILL** someone ever tend to Pidge !!?_

_**wHAT** the fuck EVER happened to HANK !!???_

 

☆

find out next time on !!!

**_whAt kind of plOT twist_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last time on what kinda plot twist keith confessed his true feelings for allura but SO DID LANCE !! and then keith got turned into a baby !! which was rlly weird ??? fortunately he changed back in like five minutes (thank god lol) aight SO let's see what happens next *popcorn emoji*

Allura just looks from Lance. To her small hand in Lance's larger hand. To Keith. To Pidge (passed tf out). And then back at Lance.

"You ... you ... _love me_?" She squeaks. "Wait ... _whot ???_ "

Lance smiles attractively. "That's what I said, binch ;)" he tells her.

"B-but?????" Allura sputters. She looks from Lance back up at Keith again.

Keith makes eye contact with the Princess too. And his eyes are kinda sad, all of a sudden.

 _Maybe it's cause he's gay for Lance after all ???_ Allura thinks ... and she just ... looks away. "But I?? Thought???"

"That I was into Mullet McGee?" Lance says, finishing her sentence for her. He scoffs. "Fat chance." He laughs. "I mean, ngl? I thought I was for a hot second? Like ... It seemed hella likely? And waaay more appealing to my yaoi fangirls than me falling for some girl they don't even genuinely care about?? Lmao but." He shrugs. "Nah. Keith is just..." He gestures vaguely. "Not ... a good match for me. I mean ... truthfully, I struggle to even feel happy for his ungrateful ass most of the time. Or tolerate his ugly hairstyle and fashion sense. Or stand the fact that he's so damn awkward. I just ... I can't vibe. We'd most likely just make each other miserable."

"Don't listen to him Allura!!" Keith blurts out. Allura and Lance both look at him. "I'm not ... that awkward." His voice cracks a bit.

Allura half frowns. Lance turns back around and makes a "see?" face at her.

Allura shrugs a tiny bit. "You ... are a _little_  bit awkard ... Keith," Allura admits, gently.

"Yeah dude," Lance agrees, scoffing again. Looking over his bare shoulder at Keith for a hot second. "Like hella, in fact."

Keith grumbles something in protest but then just crosses his arms and turns away from the two of them.

"But..." Allura lets go of Lance's hand and steps forward. "I find it rather endearing," She adds, smiling shyly at Keith. And Keith turns back around. Keith looks into her eyes for a long time. And when Allura ducks her gaze to the floor, Keith smiles a bit too.

Lance looks from Keith to Allura and and then back to Keith. And then he stands back up. "OKAY WELL. Glad that's settled," he says, lowering his voice a few octaves and flexing. "Keith is an awkward fuck! :)"

Lance raises a brow at Allura and does his most _cute-boy_ smirk ever at her. "So Princess ... who's it gonna be? ;))" His teethy grin sparkles in her lamp light and make a *bling!* noise. He tries to flex his muscles some more, but Keith slaps his arm to make him stop.

"You don't have to choose either one of us, Allura," Keith assures her. His voice soft again.

Allura looks at Lance. Tucks a loose hair behind her ear. Then she looks at Keith. And Keith has the saddest most defeated expression on his face. He looks back at Allura with pleading puppy eyes, but the rest of his face is hardened and frowning. As if he's trying hard to make it seem like he doesn't give a damn.

Allura opens her mouth ... but feels so strange and objectified all of a sudden she closes it again. And she just ... pushes past both of her teenage boy friends and kneels at the side of Pidge's body. "We have to revive her!" she exclaims. Not answering Lance's question.

Lance and Keith both turn around too, share an angry glare with each other, and then walk over to Pidge as well.

"Why's she keep fainting?" Keith asks, kneeling next to Allura.

Allura shrugs. "I do not know. She does this a lot when there's romance in the air but ... usually it's Boy Love specifically ... never ... whatever the fuck this is :/ Het romance ???" 

Keith looks at her. "Actually ... I have a confession to make, Allura." She looks back at him. "I'm bi. I ... I wanted to tell you earlier but. I knew you were a fujoshi. And ... I didn't want to ruin your shipping preferences ... or disappoint you somehow. I know my being bisexual doesn't :/ sit well with people :/ for :/ whatever reason :/"

Allura just blinks. Then she smiles softly. "That couldn't possibly disappoint me," she assures Keith, her voice full of nothing but endearment. She always gets like that when Keith opens up. "I like learning about who you are, Keith. And ... I'm bi too," she admits.

Keith's eyes widen. "Really??" She nods. "Wow ... we have so much in common??"

Allura grins. "I know?????"

Lance leans over Pidge and listens to her chest. "Hmmm." He sits back up. "Ha, yeah. I dunno shit about what to do here guys. Lol."

" **You might not know what to do...** " says a voice out of Fuckin No Where.

Allura and Keith blink at each other.

And then all three slightly-older-than-Pidge teens pause.

And they each turn around very slowly. One. By one.

" _ **... But I might**_."

And then Keith Lance and Allura suddenly see him, as they all look to where the voice is coming from in the hallway.

And there.

In Allura's doorway.

... is

... _another_ ... **_Keith !?_**

 

 ☆

 

The Other Keith just stands there. Confidently. Thumbs in the pockets of his tight skater jeans, white v-neck loose, plastic black choker stunting, Doc Martins glistening, and his taut pointed chin aimed slightly towards the ceiling. He looks EXACTLY like fuckin regular Keith, but his hair is stark white, a lot like Allura's, and parted on the opposite side of Regular Keith's. And when he smirks and licks his canines at them seductively, our main characters can all see his teeth are a little sharp and pointed, like a Galra's or somethin.

"What ...?" Allura mutters.

"The ...?" Lance adds.

"HELL!? >:/" Keith finishes.

Lance and Allura stare. In SHOCK.

But Keith is just ... angry for some reason.

" **I know a lot about bringing girls to life...** " The Other Keith essentially purrs. His voice is like regular Keith's. But a few octaves lower and more rumbly. Kinda like when regular Keith talks to Allura, but like ... all the time.

Keith practically screeches!! (To both Lance and Allura's confusion and surprise?)

"The FUCK are you doing here !!? WTF ?!!?" Keith yells at the stranger ... who looks ... just the fuck like him. (???)

" **Hello, brother**..." The Other Keith says sauntering a few slow steps in to the room.

A few steps too many.

And our regular Keith stands the FUCK up. Ready to defend his friends. Fists clenched. Brows furrowed. Hands hovering over the weapons sheathed on his belt.

Lance and Allura stand up too ... but they're just ... confused as FUCK.

Then the Other Keith coolly flips a loose tendril of hair from his eyes.

"I saw this flier for your little ... _**coalition**_." He takes a perfectly folded piece of paper out from behind his back, with Allura donned in pink armor on the front of it, saying THE COALITION NEEDS YOU in bold letters. He grins. "I was especially attracted by this request for ... _a new black paladin_?" He tells Keith, tapping the paper with a perfectly manicured finger nail, shimmering with black nail polish.

Keith glowers.

"Whot!?" Allura exclaims. Neither Keith nor the Keith-esque Stranger react to her though.

"Give me that!!!!" Allura SNATCHES the flyer from The Other Keith's hand ... kinda stunning him for a second. Then she skims it over, biting her lip. Lance looks at it too, over her shoulder.

And lo and behold, there, at the bottom of the flyer ... someone scribbled in black printer ink: BLS WE NEED A NEW BLACK PALADIN I CANT REPLACE SHIRO ;-;

Allura and Lance look at each other. And then they look back at Keith.

"KEITH!?" Allura exclaims.

Keith doesn't look at her. Or explain anything. He just keeps glaring at this ... stranger ... like okay wHO THE FUCK IS this GUY lol ???

Keith flips his own hair out of his eyes. "There is NO fuckin way we'd ever recruit YOU. Get lost. _**Maurieth**_." 

The stranger only balls up his fists too. Challengingly.

Allura and Lance exchange yet ANOTHER look. And the camera zooms in on their faces.

" **M AUREITH !?! !?!** " they both say at the same time.

Keith still doesn't look at them.

"Oh, didn't Keith ever tell you?" Maureith (wtf???) asks the two of them. Coyly. All while he is still glaring at Keith (who is APPARENTLY his fuckin brother ... what ??? the hell ???) " **I'm essentially his ... well ... long lost twin.** " Maureith tips his chin and looks at Allura. Looks her up and down in fact. And licks his canines again.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Keith stomps his foot. "GET TF LOST, Maureith!" Keith warns him. Stepping into the space between his 'long-lost-twin' and his new girlfriend. Blocking Maureith's view of Allura.

Maureith frowns at him.

Then Lance steps in.

"Woah woah woah, WOAH!" Lance says. Waving his hands. He pauses. He looks at Maureith with furrowed eyebrows. Then he looks back at Keith. And then back at Maureith again. "You mean to tell me .... that Keith ....... _has a hot evil twin_ ?????" He says eventually. The conclusion riddles up his expression.

Allura scoffs softly. "I'll say..." she mutters, biting down on a the tip of one of her fingers. Everyone looks at her and she makes a OvO face and blushes. She looks down at her mice friends. "Uh, w-which one of you said that?" she scolds.

Maureith runs a hand over his platinum mullet and slides around Keith and Lance in one stride. Takes Allura's hand. "You may call me, Maureith, _cherie_ ..." he whispers. Kissing her fingers lightly. "And you must be the goddess of Altea ... Princess Allura ... the poster girl of Freedom ... the face of beauty displayed on the poster I found. You are ... even more _de toute beauté_ in person ... I must say ;)"

Keith's eyebrows furrow so deeply his eye twitches again.

Lance just glances at the camera. "Tf ... Where did that accent come from?" he asks no one in particular.

"Oh..." Allura says, blushing and taking back her hand. She giggles a little.

Maureith winks at her and then slides back over to Lance. "And who might THIS looker be?" he asks, his eyes gazing upon Lance's face. And then his abs.

Lance pokes out his cheek and avoids his eyes. "Uhh ... the n-name's Lance," he tries to say as coolly as possible. But he blushes a lil bit too despite himself, and even yelps when Maureith proceeds to take his hand and kiss his fingers as well.

Maureith's eyebrows dance. "Mmm, a charmer ;))"

Keith groans. " **OKAY!** " Keith says shoving Maureith like a mile from his friends. (Out of jealousy maybe?? Could this be ?? KLANCE?? *takes a screenshot*) "THAT'S ENOUGH _MAUREITH_."

Maureith is just like :0 ??? "Aha what, did I do something wrong?"

Keith frowns angrily. "TAKE YOUR FAKE ASS SOMEWHERE ELSE. NO ONE IS IMPRESSED. AND WE'RE NOT GONNA RECRUIT YOU."

Maureith is aghast. "My ass??? Isn't FAKE??" he protests.

Allura interjects. "Um!" She raises a finger. "I understand there is a story here I have yet to learn about but ... before you leave Hot-Keith, I-I mean _Maureith_ ... could one of you tell us ... how the fuck Keith has a brother???"

"Yeah???" Lance agrees. "Why haven't we heard about Maureith before? And why are y'all so damn different?"

"BECAUSE MAUREITH IS FAKE!" Keith screams !! Crossing his arms and looking away again.

Lance and Allura blink. And then they turn to Maureith for a more in depth explanation.

So Maureith supplies it.

"Well..." Maureith begins. Again, flipping the hair from his face, and now looking dreamily at the ceiling as his mind goes down memory lane. "Basically ... I am the _better_ , more _liked_ , more _popular_ version of the Keith from _another reality_. We're not really ... _related_ , per se. But we met one time when I accidentally crossed over into this reality. And we did not get along well .. to say the least." He laughs. Keith only rolls his eyes. "I cannot believe you never told your friends about me Keith???" Maureith says to him ... sounding practically wounded as he places a hand on his chest. "I told my friends EONS about you. About your fashion sense and your  _awful personality_."

Keith turns on him so fast, Maureith steps back. "OH IM SURE YOU FUCKIN DID!!" Keith yells, his voice growly and scary, his goddamn temper getting the best of him again ... and essentially only proving Maureith's point.

"Ooooooooh..." Lance says, hand on chin. Nodding slowly. "You know ... that makes a lot of sense ??? And its funny 'cause like, I always thought of OUR Keith as the sexi emo gay boi. But damn Keith, compared to Maureith here, you ain't SHIT! Lmao! You're like ??? Just ... a wounded person and really boringly heroic and selfless tbqh ... And bi ??? SNOOZE LOL." He laughs. "This is so funny???"

"Why are you even in our reality anyway!????" Keith yells more at Maureith. He just ignores Lance. (Langst.) "Why the FUCK do you wanna be a paladin here???"

"OH THAT" Maureith runs a hand through his hair again. "Yeahhh see, my reality is boring as shit, bruh."

Keith blinks at him.

Maureith continues. "Nothing interesting ever happens. People just ... take twenty million years to fall in love after meeting in coffee shops. There's no action ... no conflict ... just smut !! And coffee !! I just !! I was getting sick of it !! And uuhhhgh ...  _Larry_ ," he looks at Lance. "That's the 'you' in my reality," he explains. "He keeps ... HOGGING up all the goddamn spotlight!" He shakes his head in disgust. "I just got so BORED back home, you know? Larry is the black paladin, the sad one, the good looking one, and the selfless one, and etc. and ETC. and etc. like ??? I just got tired of it being the Larry Show !! So I broke up with Larry! And! I decided to try out a new reality!!" He grins. His canines sparkle. "AND NOW Larry's hot ex-boyfriend has his own life!! HA! As a paladin of Voltron!!" He makes a >;3 face, all proud-like. As if his plan makes any fuckin sense lmao. "I mean hey? Y'all got an opening so? Why not?"

"EXCEPT WE DON'T HAVE AN OPENING!!" Keith angrily sticks a finger in Maureith's pretty pale aesthetic face. "SHIRO WILL BE BACK. WE JUST HAVE TO FIND HIM!! AND UNTIL THEN? _I'M_ THE BLACK PALADIN."

Maureith frowns. "Then??? Why did you write that thing on all these posters lmao??"

Keith backs down a little. A sad look crossing his face. "I ... I dunno," he mutters.

Everyone looks at Keith for a moment.

Then after an awkward second, Maureith just whistles. "Weeeeelp. This is getting awkward and lame." He shrugs. "Guess I'll bounce."

"WhaT?" Lance almost protests. Bc no offense, but Maureith IS pretty damn hot tbqh ... (*eyes emoji* K-KLANCE!)

"Ha yea. Y'all are boring af over here. Imma try another reality. L8rrrr!" Maurice cooly slides a hand into the pocket of his tight black low-riding jeans, flips the starlit hair from his eyes, and opens the door to leave.

And what happens next ...

... may surprise you !! :00

 

☆

 

Before walking out of the room, Maurice stops in his tracks.

And everyone looks into the hallway.

In. Shock.

(Again!)

Because ... standing on the other side of Lu's door ... is !!

_Some really hot Altean girl !!_

She looks a LOT like Allura in fact.

Dainty, brown skinned, and on the tall side. Just maybe a tad older than Allura. And with a more rounded nose, centered prettily on her face, above a pair of soft plump lips, and really big ... uh. Flowers. On her shirt. Long glittery midnight-blue hair cascades elegantly over her shoulder. She sports a bright floral blouse and a skirt with a fluffy hem and six inch heels to match.

Maureith just ... stares at her.

And the girl's green apple candy colored eyes glisten with confusion as she stares Maureith right back in the face.

"Um..." she says. Blinking. She lowers her hand which had been about to knock on the door. A large set of matching Vera Bradley and Coach and Burberry bags sit around her feet. "Oh! Hello!"

Maureith only gapes at her.

"Uhm?" The Altean stranger clears her throat. "Hi ... my name's Romelle :) I heard you were—"

The first of the main characters to speak to Romelle is Lance. (Ofc.) He seems to forget all of the Maureith and Keith weirdness already. Literally, the MINUTE a new hot girl shows up! (He lovs the ladiez, did u know that???) He sliiides across the floor up to her.

"The name's Lance," he tells her, a lot more coolly this time. Eyebrows dancing like Maureith's had been just moments ago. And his swimmers abs glistening in the room's fluorescent light. "But you can call me..." He winks. " _Anytime_."

Romelle looks at him a moment. And then opens her mouth to speak. But before she can say anything, she's interrupted.

"Pleased to meet you, _ma chérie_." That's Maureith, practically shoving Lance to the floor with one strong half-galra hand. "Sincerely so..." He admires her cute shirt for a moment. "My name is Maureith but I'd ... how you say ... _take whatever name a goddess like yourself has to offer me_." He takes her hand and *smooches* it.

Romelle pulls her hand back abruptly in disgust. And she opens her mouth to speak again. But before she can say anything, she is once again interrupted.

Keith takes both Maureith and Lance's necks in his fists. He yanks them sharply and throws them both to the side. "I'm Keith," he says in his gravelly voice, looking at her under his dark mysterious bangs. He offers a hand to shake Romelle's. He too seems to just forget the spat he had with his 'twin' like four seconds ago. "Nice to meet you."

Romelle raises her eyebrows. She seems to be about to shake Keith's hand when Pidge pops up from the floor in between them.

"And I'm SINGLE–I MEAN! I'M PIDGE!" she stammers. Then she smiles adorably at Romelle and tucks some of her messy floofy hair behind one ear.

Everyone kinda forgot she was there RIP?? Lmao.

Lance sidles back over once he sees Pidge. "And by that !! She means !! She's uh ... too pure for dating! Sorry!" he tells Romelle, scooping Pidge up by her armpits and placing her to the side.

"Hey!!" Pidge shouts. "Wtf??? Dude I am SIXTEEN!" she protests angrily as her lil dinosaur socks hit the floor. She blushes when Lance holds her. But it's just cause he's a shirtless yaoi boi and she's a fujo. (Not! Plants!!)

"AND I," that's Allura. She's standing with her arms crossed. Manicured nails tapping at the inside of her elbows. "Am _confused_." She glowers at Romelle. "What are you doing here?" she asks the other Altean girl.

The paladins and Maureith look from the Princess to Romelle. Back and forth back and forth.

"Wait..." Maureith asks. Beginning to realize. "You two, how you say, know each other?"

"We're cousins," Romelle explains, meeting Allura's glare with one of her own.

"Distant cousins," Allura expounds.

"And anyway," Romelle continues, adjusting her long curly hair. "Allura, I am not here for you."

"Oh," Lance purrs. "Are you here for me?"

Romelle spares him a glance. "Why would I be here for you? I don't even know you." Lance blinks. "I saw that Team Voltron was looking for a new Paladin and I wanted to enlist." She looks around at the others, waiting for some kinda affirmation that she's in the right place. "The orange haired butler guy said this room was where I'd find info about recruitment? But maybe ... this is the wrong room."

Allura blinks. And then she angrily turns to her boyfriend. The one who fucked up the posters in the first place. "KEITHHHH?!?"

Keith grimaces slightly as he looks back at her.

"Exactly HOW expansive was your new Paladin campaign!?!" she asks him, her voice laced with alarm.

Keith plays with the fabric of his gloves. "I-I dunno?" he replies. Allura doesn't seem satisfied with that answer. So he explains. "I-I was just? Really really mad and impulsive that day?? For all I know I could have put up posters on the walls of a frickin Galra Headquarters okay I just,, don't know!" He grabs at his hair in frustration. "It'S HARD WHEN YOU'RE PINING AND MOURNING AND LONELY AND ANGRY OKAY!? I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. I'M JUST TRYING TO DO WHATS BEST FOR EVERYONEE."

Allura's frown softens a little. She really can never stay mad at Keith for long, even when he makes dumbass mistakes. He has a good heart. And he's too fearless and selfless. Too much like her. "Hhhhh," she sighs. "Fine." She marches up to Romelle. "Look. We don't need any new Paladins okay? I'M the Paladin of the Blue Lion now. And Lance there pilots the Red. And Keith." When she says his name she looks at him. And he looks back. "And my boyfriend," she says. "Can handle flying the Black Lion. Destiny chose him. Just like destiny brought us together. So despite his shortcomings ... I believe in him. I believe he has what it takes." She squares her shoulders and turns back to Romelle. "And therefore, what ever offer you thought we had here is cancelled."

Romelle shrugs. She didn't ask for a life story, just a job lmao. "Okay. But what about the Yellow Lion?" she asks.

Allura blinks. "...Whot?"

Maureith also blinks. "There is a yellow lion?"

"Wait what?" Lance thinks. "There's ... ??? a Yellow ?? Lion ??"

The whole room is quiet.

Lance makes a 0.0 face. "... oOmg ??? You GUYS ...?" His eyes widen. "I think we DO have a Yellow Lion!! I never noticed??"

Pidge taps her chin. "You know ??? I never really thought about this ... ??? But I'm pretty sure? We came out to space with someone else from the Garrison? Besides Shiro I mean." She furrows her brows in thought. "Hmmm ... that seems like an accurate hypothesis but why can't I remember who it was?"

Keith thinks. "Yeah ... I'm thinking the same thing ... getting the same feeling."

Allura considers this. "This is very strange. I too feel like there must have been someone else..." She ponders. "I mean? There are five Lions. And before Shiro disappeared, I hadn't been a Paladin. So there MUST have been another Paladin at the time." She chews on her lip in thought.

Lance Pidge Keith and Allura all think about who they could possibly be forgetting. They think for a really long time.

But the mystery is just too damn difficult to solve. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

After a full minute, Romelle just SIGHS loudly.

"I ... don't really have time for this you guys," she interrupts their concentration. "If the offer's cancelled, then." She picks up her bags. "I'll just be back on my way to my starship." She balances her bags and deftly flips her curls over her shoulder. "It was nice seeing you, little cousin," she tells Allura as she turns to leave.

Allura just sticks out her tongue in her older cousin's wake. No one knows why they don't get along ??? But damn.

Allura crosses her arms. Huffs. And then she goes to close the door in Romelle's wake. But Maureith slips out into the hallway between the crack of the doorway, mad quick. He then catches up with Romelle in a few strides before settling into a walk beside her.

"So..." He tucks a strand of loose white hair behind his ear. Licks his sharp canine teeth. "I don't think we've ever crossed paths in my reality. You from around this side of the galaxy?"

Romelle side eyes him. "Uh, what just happened to your accent?"

Maureith blushes furiously. "Uh, ah, um..." he stammers. Then he flips his hair and tries again. "What I meant was ... are you, how you say, _single_?" He tilts his chin, so that she has a clear view of the sharp cut of his jaw. But she doesn't even look.

Romelle keeps her eyes straight ahead as she walks down the long, chrome hallway. "I have a boyfriend," she says simply. "Ryou."

Maureith raises both brows. "Oh ..." he says. "So, you're NOT a lesbian ...? YES!" he asks, his voice colored with hope.

Romelle quirks a brow. "Um? No ... I'm ... bisexual?" she tells him ... not quite catching the purpose of his question. Then the intentions of his words start to come together in her mind. And she walks a little faster. Her heels clicking. "And I'm weirdo-phobic." She adds.

Maureith quickens his step to match hers. "What a coincidence??? So am I??? In fact, my brother is SUCH a weirdo. He's from this reality but damn, yall would LOVE me way more than him lol."

Romelle hums. Kinda unsettled by the nonsense of that statement. "Well. That is unfortunate."

"Oh he is SO unfortunate, lmfao. Like? I dunno just everything I got right, he got wrong, let's put it that way. First off, he's a total softy, okay. He acts all edgy but he'd kill for a hug. Like??? Then just ask!! Ya dumb edge lord!! LOL!! But it doesn't stop there, ha, he STILL worries about our mom like aaall the time. Like bruh, she didn't love YOU so why do you care? Right? I sure fuckin' don't."

Romelle somehow puts both of her earbuds in. She'd be lying if this story didn't interest her a little bit. (It was kinda ... sad?) But. This dude was a fuckin creep. And she was already antsy enough being in the Castle of Lions.

Maureith just extends his stride with his fast ass half-Galra legs to match Romelle's when she quickens her pace again. "Oh so you like music do you? Well, I'm sure a girly girl such as your self has NEVER heard of MY favorite bands..."

 

☆ 

 

Allura slams the door. Then she heaves a sigh.

"Ugh. Glad tHAT's over with..." she mutters. Still not explaining why the hell she and her cousin have beef ... but hey. That's usually the way it is between random girl characters you know. Lmao.

Allura turns around. And when she does, Keith is right behind her and he takes her by the waist in his hands. 

She looks up at him a little stunned, but doesn't back away. "Glad Maureith is gone too," Keith agrees. "Good riddance."

Allura instinctively lets her arms fall around his shoulders and studies the smirk that crosses Keith's face. She mirrors it. And hums a laugh. "Ha yea."

They're both kinda quiet for a moment before Keith just looks down at the floor. "I noticed you called me your boyfriend a few moments ago..." Keith tells her. Talking a lot quieter now.

Allura looks at his face through his hanging bangs. There's such a softness in his expression, it unsettles her. Like he's asking her if she meant what she said. "I noticed ... you called me your girlfriend in the kitchen earlier today."

Keith looks up again and raises one eyebrow at her. "Um. What?" he asks.

"Yeah, you know when you and Lance were...." Allura's voice trails off once she realizes what she is literally admitting to spying on her boyfriend's edgy ass right now. "Um uh, I mean ... well um." An anime sweat bead forms on her face. "I thought I heard you say it. Before? Once? When I was ALSO in the kitchen. A-and Lance. Was in there. As ... well?" she explains quickly.

Pidge gives her a thumbs up. "Good save!!" she whispers loudly.

"Oookay?" Keith ignores Pidge and Allura's terrible attempt to lie. Then he clears his throat.

And, as always, he immediately gets to focusing on the bigger issue at hand.

"Alright guys," he says suddenly, turning in place so that he has Allura's waist in just one arm and he's facing the others. His voice gets deeper and more serious and leader-like all of a sudden. It was all soft when he had been talking to Lu, but that's just the talent of Steven Yeun for you lol. "We DO have a serious problem here. Thing is, if anyone can just grab a flier and think they have the chance to sign up to be a paladin, we could be in SERIOUS trouble. It's my fault we're in this mess, I know. But TOGETHER we can fix it!"

"Speak for yourself?" Lance cuts in. "Also, Allura. Can I borrow a shirt? I'm fuckin freezing here."

Allura nods and gestures vaguely towards her walk-in closet with her free hand. "What's your plan Keith?" she asks, her other hand gripping his softly. Tightly.

Keith looks at her in the eye. "Well—"

THEN

**... the wall caves in.**

 

☆

 

_**BOOM**_

 

☆

 

And when the smoke clears ... and the debris of the castle's wall finally stops crumbling around Allura's room ... Allura sits up.

She breathes raggedly. Coughing into her fingers. She blinks the dust out of her lashes ... and looks around. 

Keith is laying on top of her. Having curled over her protectively and shielded her immediately after the explosion.

Allura nudges Keith a little and he wakes up. He blinks slowly, coughing. He looks at Allura, and then gets up, and inspects her for any injuries. Before he does anything else, he checks to see if she's alright. "Lu, are you okay???"

Allura nods, and sits up. "Yes ... I am alright." She lets him wrap an arm around her. "What ... what just happened?" 

"OH MY G OD!!" (That's Lance.) "IS!!!?? THAT??" He points. "THAT SAME GALRA CREW AGAIN!!??"

Lance (wearing one of Allura's fluffy hotpink sweaters, that suits him rather well) had also jumped up to shield a teammate when the wall blew up. Namely Pidge. Only he's still sitting on top of her as he gapes at the opening in Allura's wall.

Allura and Keith follow his eyes. And then they both gasp.

"GET OFFA ME YOU BIG OAF!!" Pidge exclaims. Lance barely looks at her as she shoves his lanky ass body off of her, and shakes the debris out of her floofy hair. "JESUS Lance!! I'd rather be crushed by chrome CASTLE parts than SMOTHERED by your POINTY ASS!! Next time could you just— _OH SWEAT MEATBALLS_ IT'S THE GALRAA!!!"

" ** _It is indeed..._** " The Evil Prince of the Galra Empire jests.

He smiles wickedly at the team staring back at him in fear and awe.

 

☆

 

Prince Lotor is hovering in his space suit and jet pack right outside of the gaping hole in Allura's wall.

(Our paladins don't know he's Prince Lotor yet of course ... but ... they recognize from his armor that he's a member of that crew of Galra Bad Guys that kicked their asses that one time in the Ulippa System!!)

Hovering behind Lotor are two of his Generals. One really big muscular one, holding a huge ass bazooka (what caused the explosion to begin with) and another more slim General, with a blaster on her belt and a looong multi-colored head tail coming out of her helmet.

"Excellent shot, Zethrid," Lotor says, to the more muscular general. His tone kinda flirty and impressed. "That will be all." Then he turns back to the four Paladins who, by this point are all in fighting stance. In their pajamas or not, they're ready to go.

Lotor observes them through the now-opened visor of his helmet. A trace of genuine amusement crosses his face. "Mmm. It seems we may have arrived at bad time. What were you children up to? Reading bedtime stories?"

"What are you doing here you purple TWATS!?" Allura challenges, before anyone else speaks.

Lotor descends onto the floor of her room, taking steps down the air like Howl from Howl's Moving Castle.

He lands like a foot from Allura. And Keith steps up a little closer to the Princess from behind, to have her back, just in case.

But Allura's fully capable of handling her own foil. She glares up at Lotor. Right in his piercing blue and yellow eyes.

Lotor raises a platinum eyebrow. "You seem rather upfront for such a dainty little thing. You must be the Altean Princess," he observes.

"You bet your ASS," Allura responds. Waiting for a signal to fight. Her space buns are falling apart, and her hair is all loose and tussled up. Her night gown is torn a bit at the hem, and she's still wearing fluffy pink slippers. But in her hand is her new Blue Paladin Bayard, ready to knock someone out if they test her. And the look in her eyes could kill a man.

"Hmm. Well." Lotor looks around at the others. "I am not here for you, Princess. I have come to pay a visit to three (3) members of Team Voltron specifically. Which one of you acne ridden teenagers is the pilot of the Blue Lion? I've got a bone to pick with you."

Allura straightens up. "That'd be me, dumbass," she informs him. "Hm." She looks him up and down. "So I'd guess that makes YOU Prince Lotor of the Galra Empire?" She smirks. " _Much_ less impressive in person, I'm ashamed to see."

Lotor quirks a brow at her. "You were the Paladin in that lion ??? ... You seem rather ... ambitious for a royal ... -_- ..."

"And you seem rather invasive for a Prince," Allura spits back. 

Lotor scoffs. The amusement on his face twinges a bit with frustration.

"Wow! What a welcome comity!" he says, looking around again. "Whatever. _Princess_. If you don't mind, I would also like to have a word with your Pink Paladin. My generals tell me that the Paladin donned in pink armor is the STRONGEST of you insurgents. So. Unless they're a PUNK ASS, may the Pink Paladin please step forward!" His eyes fall on Keith. "I am going assume that'd be you. The slim fit, what are you, a bodyguard? You seem vaguely ... _more important_ than those last two peasants." His tone with Allura had been slightly more respectful, if not condescending. But he practically spits at her Human friends. It riles her up, like damn.

And she's not the only one.

"Excuuuuuse me??" Lance protests. "I don't know WHOM tf you're calling a PEASANT bitch, but I'll have you know—" Before Lance can get another word out, Keith leaps around the room. And with his ignited bayard, he slices Zethrid, Ezor and Lotor's weapons, right down their middles. The Galra intruders looks at their hands in surprise! Their weapons just EXPLODE and *POOF!* into thin air!

Lance grumbles. "...  _I'll bet Larry doesn't get overshadowed like this ..._ " he mutters almost inaudibly.

Keith back flips across the floor back to Allura, and stands back at her side. "Nope. You've got the wrong Paladin. That'd be Allura again, Sherlock. Anyway." He flips the hair out of his face. "You are unarmed. And though I'm sure you have reinforcements on the way," Keith tells them all. Lotor only blinks at him. "I'd advise you to explain yourselves and get a move on before we gather our OWN backup. Which we TOTALLY have. I mean ... wouldn't want to make a bigger mess here than need be."

Allura smirks at her boyfriend. Highkey impressed. Then she turns back to Lotor. "Yes. You would not want to make a scene, I'm sure," she negotiates. "A fledgling Emperor does not need such a major failure on his belt so early on in his rule."

Lotor squints at her. Then he rips off his helmet. His luscious platinum locks spill out all around his face angrily, and flow in the non-existent wind. "Shut it!" he shouts. "You think you're ahead of the game, Princess Allura? Pfft. Well I'm so ahead of the game ... I got a headstart before the time for headstarts even STARTED!" he shoots back.

Zethrid raises her arms. "OOOOOOOH!! SICK BURN SIRE!!"

Lotor nods at her and winks. Making everyone side eye each other a bit. (What kinda ... Zethror ...)

"And ANYWAY, that makes this objective only ten times easier for me!" Lotor continues. "I ALSO wanted to speak with the Paladin who outsmarted my General while piloting the Black Lion ... But oh! Let me guess! That was you too, wasn't it Princess?"

"Nope." Allura says. Stepping to the side. 

"That'd be me." Keith tells him, standing straight. Glaring through his dark heavy bangs.

Lotor daggers his eyes back and forth from the two of them. "Amazing..." he mutters after a second. "Well, two targets are better than three. We came here to nip your coalition at the bud, Princess. You act tough now, but we are well aware you're down a few recruits, judging by your pathetic plea on your posters." He snaps his finger and Ezor takes out another one of Keith's fliers from behind her back and shows the Voltron crew. "But..." Lotor continues. "Just for funsies. I'd like to see who you are behind your brave facade. WITHOUT your..." He studies Keith. "Bodyguard protecting you." Amusement dances across his brow. "Do you wish to challenge me even so?"

Keith steps forward. "HOW DARE YOU UNDERESTIMATE ALLURA!!!" he shouts. "SHE'LL KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD YOUR GRANDKIDS WILL BE WAILING FROM-"

But Allura places a small hand on Keith's arm and makes a "dude ... back off? you're embarrassing me?" look at him. So Keith stands down. Then the Princess turns back to her evil Prince rival.

"I do not need bodyguards. Keith is my _boyfriend_. He is here not because I need him here. But because I _want_ him here."

The most incredulous look crosses Lotor's face lol. He puts up a hand ... and interrupts Allura again. "I'm sorry WHAT?" He exclaims before Allura can say anything more. He looks at Keith. "You mean to tell me. This small ... what is he ... Human?? Is your? Mate?" He scoffs. "Like??? Romantically???" He looks over his shoulder at Ezor. Raising both hands. "I canNOT believe you were right."

Ezor snorts. "HA! I TOLD you Lotty!! I know pining when I see it ;3"

Lance pipes up. "Dude, I dunno about that like ... it just came out of no where if you ask me? I didn't see any pining?"

"Didn't see it coming at all," Pidge agrees. Adjusting her glasses. "I mean. Technically, yes I saw it coming since the get go, which is why I'd been AGAINST it since the get go. But. I am still getting used to it, in all honestly."

Lance nods. "Mm hm. Yep. See what I mean? I mean I kinda just ... ignored every moment they interacted ... but like ... still."

"He's so scrawny!" Zethrid cuts in. "I didn't think someone as heroic as the Pink Paladin would WANT someone like that???"

"Hey!" Ezor cuts in. "Sometimes a 10 is attracted to a solid 7! True love is true love, people. Don't be against it!"

Keith looks deflated. The frown on his face falling even more.

Lotor nods. "A 7? I'd give him a solid 4 and half, Ezor. He's like ... a round eared _dork_."

Keith almost screams. "H Ey!"

"For real though, girl. Like? What are you doing?" Lotor asks Allura, sincerely. Ignoring Keith The Round Eared Dork. "Like ... you look like a movie star goddess. And you're dating some poor ass biker boy?? ... Why?"

"It's? Really not that weird?" Allura starts to defend herself. But then she defends Keith. Because she adores him more than anything at this point and she's tired of pretending she doesn't. "I literally love Keith! He is everything I could ever dream of having in not only a boyfriend, but in a friend and a PARTNER period! He's very caring and sincere and though he's hurting he only ever tries to make the world a better place! You all just don't pay enough attention to him! And THAT'S the tea!"

Keith looks at Allura for a long time. It's like ... he doesn't even care that everyone else disapproves of him.

Not as long as the most beautiful Princess he's ever met thinks he's 'all she could ever dream of' ... damn. He smiles.

But Lotor steps forward again. And Allura just gets into defense mode.

"Whatever. Enough small talk." Lotor interjects. He whips out his giant Galra sword. And bares his sharp teeth. " **LET'S FITE**!"

 

☆

 

ShlinGG  SLing !! Kap POWW !! BrrrAPP !! BOOM !! SKKkkkkk Yap !!!! *sword noises* THUD !!

 

☆

 

The fight lasts like two minutes.

Lotor goes after Allura with his sword in full swing ... and the other Paladins all back off except for Keith, who Allura has to physically shove to the floor before he does some dumb shit, like trying to protect her and getting glocked in the process.

But Allura isn't fazed by Lotor's attack !! She just Avatars the quintessence in the air around her, BLASTS Lotor with it and SNATCHES the sword right out of his huge half-Galra half-Altean hands !!

The Princess stands above Lotor. Panting with rage.

Her fluffy slippered foot pins Lotors heaving chest to the floor.

Allura aims Lotor's huge Galra sword to his throat. And she glares into his sorry, golden blue eyes.

Zethrid and Ezor both step towards their Prince, but Lotor waves a hand at them. Accepting his defeat.

And Keith Lance and Pidge step up to guard their Princess from Lotor's Generals right away. But she gestures for them to back off.

"Don't..." Lotor wheezes at Zethrid and Ezor.

The evil Prince coughs up some green galra blood.

And Allura steps on him a little harder. Twists the sword in her hand as if ready to slit his throat.

"It's over Lotor. The Universe will no longer suffer beneath your evil selfish reign!!" Allura roars in her too-sweet to be scary Kimberly Brooks voice. "Any last words..." Allura hisses, so so ready to kill the Emperor Pro Tem of this dark, destructed, Universe. And bring peace to everyone at last as a result. So ready. So so ready. "Anything!?" she spits. "Anything for the archives you punk ass BITCH??"

Lotor looks up at her weakly. Coughs. The faintest frowns curving his bruised, bloodied lips. "Yes. I have one truth to share..."

Allura glowers. "Go ahead." She steps on him harder. Raises her chin.

Lotor blinks slowly ... a tear pooling in his eye.

"You ... are beautiful."

 

☆

 

"......" is all Allura can say in return.

Like.

What the fuck?

Then Allura hears the sound of Lance's hands smacking his own thighs in frustration. "Oh COME ON!" Lance complains.

"Really dude??" Pidge adds on. Talking to Prince Lotor. "No offense but uhhhh ... _cringe_ , man."

"Sire ... no offense as well but ... that wasn't the time." Ezor agrees with Pidge. Also cringing. Shaking her head a little.

"Yeah Sire ... lmao. Y ikes." Zethrid agrees. "Talk about coooorny."

"Well she is!???" Lotor protests, suddenly gainin back a lot of strength. "Like!? For real tho, Allura!! WHY have you chosen the wuss with the edgy emo bangs ??? Why ?? You could literally have ANYONE !! Even ME!!? I just ?? I don't fuckin get it ???"

"OR ME!" Lance adds.

Lotor ignores him. "That lame ass biker dude can't possibly do it for you. I'm an inquisitive guy okay, and this puzzle is killing me," Lotor says, looking Keith up and down as best he can from the floor (where he's essentially dying and bleeding out right now).

Keith's shoulders slump. Again, he doesn't defend Allura's love for him. He wants them all to be wrong. But.

Everything the Prince is saying kinda just reflects the voices that have always been there, right in his own head.

When will he ever be good enough for someone as amazing as Allura? ... Never. He knows that. And silently, he clenches his jaw.

Ezor and Zethrid exchange a glance.

"Welpppp," pipes Ezor. "If Lotty Dotty is dyin? Then? Guess we'll have to find something else to do, Zethy," she reasons.

"WHAT?" Lotor squeaks. "Wait ,, you're? Leaving me here?" 

"Yeah..." Zethrid agrees. "Sorry Sire. But we were only ever in it to kill people and look pretty. Not for you, really. No offense."

"Yeah yeah, it's nothing personal!" Ezor assures him. "We're just evil, you know? And evil girls just wanna have fun! Live it up! And weeell, watching you die isn't exactly how I wanna waste my life, Lotty Dot! Lmao!"

Lotor just gapes at his ex-Generals in disbelief. He can't fuckin BELIEVE this betrayal.

"Well ... this is gonna be awkward ... " Ezor laughs, taking a few steps backward. "We should probably go now."

Zethrid ignites her jet pack and takes off. "Word," she says. "Later PLEBZ! Zethrid OUT!!"

Ezor follows right behind her. "Bye bye robot kitty-katz!! ;3" She blows them a *kiss* and then flies away in Zethrid's tracks.

Lotor looks angrily at the sky in their wake. And then he looks at the ceiling.

"Fuckin ... non-loyal ... bitch ass .. lesbian traitors ... istg .. ugh."

Allura lowers the sword after a second. "Listen ... I hate you more than anything. Especially right now, since you like ruined my bedroom and it's been my room all my life ... but ... I'm sorry you got abandoned like that, Prince Lotor," she admits. "They were your friends. They really shoulda stayed at least to watch you die and then bury your ashes after the fact :/"

Lotor shrugs. The color is fading from his skin now. "It's whatever. Happens to me all the time." He coughs up more green blood.

"Really??" Keith says. Those words catch his attention. He thinks for a second and then turns to Lotor. "Dude ... h-how ... how do you get over the fear of being rejected??" He asks it so softly and urgently everyone lowkey wonders ... why.

Lotor looks at Keith. "Hmm?" he says. "Oh. Well ... I do have some great advice for that," he admits.

"Really? :)" Keith steps closer to him.

"Ya." Lotor eyes him with amusement. And then a light bulb pops up over his head, and disappears again. "And I guess the right thing to do would be to _tell you_ that advice. I mean I've got nothing to lose. Since I'm fuckin dying and all." He smiles a bit.

Keith smiles back. "I'd ... I'd really appreciate that Lotor. I ... have some serious emotional issues and well ..." he glances at Allura, but she doesn't notice. "I'd like to get over them pretty soon. I have this relationship I really don't wanna ruin, you know."

Lotor nods. "I know eXACTLY what you mean bro."

Keith makes a :) face at his fellow part-galra dude.

Then Lotor gestures for Keith to kneel and come closer.

Allura finally steps off the Prince's chest and lets Keith do what he has to do.

But.

When Keith gets real real close ... and gives Lotor his ear ... Lotor ... just ... fuckin  _spits in it_.

" **BUT IM STILL AN EVIL BINCH !! HA !! SIKE BRUH!!** " the Prince SHOUTS.

Right into Keith's poor ear drum D:

"UuuUHHgh!!" Keith falls backwards onto his ass. And starts rubbing the spit out his ear. " **DUDE** THAT !?? YOU're FUCKIN **GROSS**!! WTF MAN !! THAT WAS _NOT_ COOLL!"

Lotor just laughs and laughs.

Then he sputters up more blood. Chokes a lil. Coughs and coughs.

And Laughs some more, but painfully.

Then he stops laughing.

Gets too tired.

And decides to look up at Allura one last time. He's thankful that, at the very least, the Altean Princess's pretty face and messy space buns and hot night gown are the last thing he'll see before ... you know ... **_nose diving into the eternal abyss_**. 

"I guess ..." he breathes. "This both our first hello, and goodbye ... Princess."

Allura shrugs. "Ya, technically."

"You know ... something?"

Allura shrugs again. "No. What?"

Lotor smiles fondly. His voice is so soft. "We coulda had it all ..." he tells her faintly and raggedly. His eyes are glazing over quickly.

Allura makes a :/ face at him. 

She feels kinda sad ??? But not very. Lmao.

Then.

Lotor.

Takes one more breath.

AND

**XP *blep***

He up and dies.

Just up. And fuckin croaks.

 

☆

 

"PIZZAAA DELIVERY!!!!!"

Everyone looks up.

A mysterious person wearing a pizza delivery suit and a dark visored helmet zips into Allura's doorway on a bright red delivery moped.

The paladins all look up from Lotor's body (they're kinda snifflin a little ngl ... despite themselves) and at the stranger.

"W-we..." Allura sniffs. "We didn't order any pizza??????"

The pizza delivery person just gets off their bike though. And just stands there. A stack of pizzas in their hand. They don't say shit.

"WE DIDNT ORDER ANY PIZZA." Keith repeats, louder and angrier. "GO AWAY. CANT U SEE WE'RE KINDA MOURNING A LITTLE??"

"Mourning?" the pizza delivery person asks.

"Yeah man!!" Lance shouts. "Our nemesis just fuckin died! Give us a second will you??? Jeez ... the service these days."

"Wait guys ..." Pidge says, studying her calculations or w/e on her laptop. "I don't ... think ..."

"What is it Pidge?" Allura asks.

"That Lotor is ACTUALLY dea-"

" **YOU may not have ordered any pizza** ..." Lotor says!! His eyes popping back open!!!!!!! (h Oly shit) " **BUT I DID**!!"

Everyone screams.

Allura just jumps backwards. _WH AT KINDA PLOT?? TWIST?!?!_

"WhY does this weird shit keep happening? !?" Keith exclaims.

Lotor grimaces but, he's still too weak to move. So he just cups his hands around his mouth and yells. "AVENGE ME ACXA!!!"

Acxa (the pizza delivery intruder!!) removes her helmet !! Revealing her emo makeup and emo punk rock bangs. She makes a >:) face.

Keith stands tf up. HE RECOGNIZES THAT LIPSTICK COLOR!! "THE WEBLUM GALRA!!" he YELLS.

Acxa looks away from Lotor and Allura. She notices Keith for the first time, and her expression sours. "YOU!!" she growls. Readying her weapon and marching towards him.

Keith steps towards her too.

"You know each other???" Allura and Lotor say at the same time.

"We're rivals!!!" Keith and Acxa shout. Then they glare at each other. "JINX!!" They growl again.

Pidge jumps onto Lance's back. "OOOOOHOOHOO SHITTT !!! AAAA !!!! ITS ABT TO GET REAL AODFJV SOMEBODY HOLD ME !! IM AS LIMP AS A PIECE A PASTA!!!" Then she just falls off of Lance. And faints. Unconscious on the floor again. 

"Damn..." Lance says ... backing away from Keith to give his bro some room to kick Galra ass. Lance scoops up Pidge and cradles her in his arms, letting her floofy head rest against his pink sweater. He also slides a box of pizza closer to him, takes out a slice, and chomps into it. "Hmm. Pretty good." He smiles. "GET HER Keith!!" he chants, his mouth full of pizza.

The Space Mice join him and Pidge. They all nibble on another slice.

Allura drags Lotor to the side of the room as well, so she and her rival can watch their closest teammates fight each other in their honor.

Allura looks at Keith. And gives him an assured 'you got this' look. Pride and love is written across her starry bright eyes. 

Keith nods right back at her. Reading every word she isn't saying by her looks alone. "You ready?" He asks Acxa, igniting his bayard AND his MArmora blade, and getting into fighting stance!

Acxa takes out her dual blasters. She crouches down. Born ready. "I will avenge my Prince," she says simply and professionally.

Keith smirks. 

And they lunge at each other.

☆

_**to be continued …** _

 

☆

 

_**wHO** is gonna win the fight, Acxa or Keith ???_

_**wHAT** will happen to Prince Lotor ??? Is he just gonna croak again ?? He's dying !!_

_**wHO**  will Allura LOVE !!? Lotor Lance Maureith or ?? Keith?_

_**AND WHO'S** THE MYSTERIOUS UNKNOWN YELLOW PALADIN ??_

 

☆

  find out next time on !!!

            _ **the final episode of**_

**_whAt kind of plOT twist_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alright yall this is the the FINAL episode of this hell fic and i am so ready to never think about it again SO let's get it over with lmao ... welcome to the GRAND FINALE !!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't wait for season four to heal my soul tbh
> 
> even though this is shit tier fanfiction, a lot of this is still just my predictions for what i think might happen in canon (on a much less absurd level of fuckin course lol) so yeah pls enjoy ~

☆

 

PART I: AL-LOO-ISH-US

 

⋆☆⋆

 

So.

Keith and Acxa **fight**.

Thing is though, they’re both INCREDIBLY strong and skillful. Like, equal in strength and skill. So their fight goes on for a much longer time than Allura and Lotor’s fight. (In which, Allura took down the fake ass Prince pretty damn easily.)

At first, the others all cheer on Keith and Acxa enthusiastically.

Allura and Lance legit SCREAM in heartfelt support of Keith while Lotor merely nods at Acxa and gives her a quick 'fail and you’re dead to me binch' hand signal by dragging his finger across his throat.

Acxa is kind of touched when he adorns his warning with a wink though, at least.

Anyway the fight drags on. 

And at this point, Keith and Acxa are on opposite sides of the room, hair singed and tussled up and minor injuries marking up their skin.

Keith shakes off the pain and gets a running start again.

He flips the hair out of his eyes attractively, leaps about 10 feet above the floor, and spins in the air with his dual swords, like a goddamn human blender. Lance WHOOPS in support through a mouthful of pizza. Allura silently clenches both of her tiny hands beneath her chin and watches Keith twirling in the air in slow motion. Her starry eyes are full of pride as she gazes up at her boyfriend. She’s so turned on, in fact, she can't even scream. Her lashes just flutter in awe.

Prince Lotor just boos Keith from the floor.

And Acxa dodges Keith’s attack !!

Acxa side steps out of Keith's range JUST in time (the fringe of her bangs JUST missing the fate of his Marmora blade) and tucks and rolls across the floor.  She shoots two (2) heavy damage plasma blasts back in Keith’s direction.

But Keith just leans slightly to the left, and then slightly to the right. Dodging them both with ease. The fiery hot space-plasma grazes only the tips of his mullet.

And then Keith runs and swings at Acxa. But Acxa LEAPS over his head, so that his blades slice through empty air once again. Lance screams when Acxa lands near him, takes a goddamn bite out of his slice of pizza, and then goes back after Keith.

"You can do it, my love!!!" Allura calls out to Keith, finally finding her voice again.

Keith turns to her for a second. And smiles.

The rosy blush that flushes Allura's cheeks, and the way she prettily ducks her eyes, gives Keith the boost of motivation he needs to win this fight. There is NO way he's dying before he gets to kiss her again!! Not today!! In fact, he's almost getting hot just remembering the softness and sweetness and eagerness of her lips, and imagining the both of them finishing what they started in his room earlier in Chapter 1 (which despite the innuendo, wasn't very much lol) and suddenly he wants nothing more than to bring this battle to an end.

So Keith crosses both sabers before his face. And he charges at his fellow part-Galra opponent will full force.

Acxa doesn't even flinch. She just smashes both of her blasters together with a CLACK! and they magically become ONE super blaster, which she then aims right at Keith's face.

Acxa is ABOUT to blast her mostly-human rival's brains out, in fact, when Lotor suddenly screeches like a whiny child from the floor.

"GOD DAMN IT GENERAL !! FUCKIN END THIS ALREADY !! JESUS CHRIST !!"

Unfortunately Lotor's yelling only distracts Acxa. And she glances in the Prince's direction before focusing again on Keith. Her gloved finger hugs the trigger of her gun like literally one millisecond too late.

Keith roars with exertion as he rips his weapons cleanly through the barrel of her Super Blaster, rendering the whole gun useless.

Acxa gasps and falls back. Her weapon goes *POOF!* and disappears like in a video game. (Just like Zethrid Ezor and Lotor's in the chapter just before this one. Lol.)  She looks down at her now empty hands, and then stumbles back a few steps when Keith stares down at her beneath fallen emo bangs.

Keith points the sharp tip of his Marmora Blade at the curve of Acxa's neck. She gasps again when her back hits the wall and there is no where she can run.

"Once again," Keith says, his voice all deep and gravelly and shit. He looks down his nose at Acxa, through his menacingly spiky black hair. "You are _unarmed_." Keith twists the blade, as if threatening Acxa to try him. And narrows his brows. "Any last words, General?"

Acxa looks up at him with pleading eyes. This is just like the moment they first crossed paths in the Weblum, but this time he's gonna kill her for real :/

Acxa still has so many questions for the Paladin in red armor. There is something about his unnecessary edginess that feels like home when she looks at him. And something else about the hint of mercy in Keith's dark purple irises that reads as ... almost familiar.

There is no time to ponder over these things though. So she looks to Lotor, her Leader and Guide, instead. Trying to formulate her most heartfelt goodbye to the man who always made her feel like she had a place in the universe.

"Prince Lotor..." Acxa begins. And you can hear the tears in her voice.

But Lotor is like, just laying there on the floor. Now filing his dainty nails. He spares Acxa a glimpse. Then he sighs dramatically and takes an ear bud out of his ear. "What tf is it?" he asks, irritant.

Acxa is kinda shook by his tone, but she keeps going. "I ... I ... I just wanted to say ... th-that —" her voice trails off.

Lotor raises a brow at her but she can't seem to finish her words. "UGHHHHHHH," Lotor groans.

The Prince just rolls his eyes impatiently, craning his head back, and letting his hair spill across the floor. He looks up again and then gestures to Keith with his nail file. "Be done with her already," he scolds, popping the earbud back in. "She is useless to me."

Keith only blinks at him.

"If a General of her rank cannot even take down a mere Human paladin, she's of no use!" Lotor spits. "Why are you staring at me? Do you not understand? I said do it! End her! This is what she gets! And I could spare not one single damn about it! She's merely a failure." He shakes his head at Acxa. His eyes are cold. But hers are pooling with tears that make her blue irises shimmer. Then Lotor just goes back to filing his long polished fingernails. If he's gonna die tonight, he might as well look sharp and flawless, and be listening to his favorite The Weeknd tracks.

Acxa looks at the Prince is disbelief. Looks at him as if she might cry. But she doesn't.

Acxa just raises both hands in defeat, looks to the floor, steels herself, and then looks back up at Keith. The look on her face is much harder than it was before. Much less afraid. "I surrender."

Keith raises a brow at her. "What?"

"Those are my last words," Acxa continues. "I have failed my Emperor. And therefore, I have also failed all of the statutes I hold dear. Fate, and all the Intelligent powers wielding it from beyond the grave, have deemed me unworthy." Her voice barely quivers. It's like she's turned to stone. Or had at least practiced this speech before or something. It makes Keith incredibly fuckin sad listening to it. All the Paladins look kinda sad for Acxa, in fact. "I can do nothing now but surrender. This is the will of destiny." She bows her head. "May someone more powerful than I am take my place as the Emperor's right hand General. And that's all I have to say to my opponent."

Lotor sighs again, loudly. "SOOO draMATic!" he bellows, putting in BOTH earbuds now.

Keith glares at him. Then he looks over at Allura.

Allura is looking intently at Acxa now. There is a fiery mercy in her cottoncandy colored eyes. And anger curling in her dainty lil fists. And just because he knows her so well, Keith can read exactly what her body language means. Immediately, he knows what to do.

Keith straightens up. Lowers his weapons.

Let's them both transform back from big ass swords into a small black bayard and a lil pocket daggar. He returns them both to their sheaths. And then he reaches out a hand to Acxa. She flinches when his fingers brush her hand.

Lance raises both arms in disbelief. A pizza slice in each. "YO WTF? What are you doin' man she's the villain fuckin end her!" He narrows his brows. "Don't tell me it's because she's Galra! Keith are you SERIOUS? How is it that you can refrain from killing a Galra lady in cold blood but when Allura tells you not to risk Voltron to save her, you can't even fuckin risk Voltron to save her ?? Hypocritical much ??"

"ZIP IT LANCE!" Keith shouts at him. (*takes a screencap* is this? Klance?) "WH-LITERALLY WHAT DO THOSE TWO THINGS HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER? I MEAN REALLY?"

Lance raises a finger, thinks. Then he just lowers it again. "Fair debunk ..." he mutters, taking another bite of pizza.

Acxa looks nervously at Keith, and then reluctantly takes his outstretched hand. Keith helps her onto her feet.

"Why ... why are you sparing me?" Acxa asks her enemy, carefully. Looking down at him. (He's a lil shorter than her.)

Keith smirks. And again the smirk on his face emits some kinda ... familiarity. "Look," he tells Acxa. "That was a pretty kickass fight, I gotta admit okay. And I don't just go around complimenting my enemies often. You're a decent challenge of an opponent, General. You're not a fuckin failure. You're just too damn hard on yourself."

Then, Keith feels a small dainty hand touch his shoulder. He knows by the way his stomach flips it's Allura.

"Hm. Sounds a lot like someone else I know," Allura says, stepping up behind him.

The Princess smiles softly when Keith's eyes meet her eyes.

And Keith takes her by the waist and pulls her closer to him. The scent of flowers and strawberries Allura carries never seems to fade. And he gratefully nuzzles her hair, letting her scent heal his new wounds. Allura cradles his face with her hand, and he almost purrs.

Then Allura looks back up at Acxa. "Keith is right, General. You have a LOT going for you. Don't you dare take a word that purple Bratz doll says to heart!" She narrows her brows the way she does when she wants deeply to empower someone. And Acxa can feel nothing but sincerity in her words. "Lotor is the ONLY failure in this room. And he knows it. The only reason he speaks to you so heartlessly is because he is merely deflecting! You will be failing absolutely no one but yourself if you quit, Acxa. Don't you DARE surrender yet!"

Lotor sits up. "Hey!" he protests. He's still dying and bleedin and alladat. But his ego fuels him enough to defend his swagger. "Who are you calling a PURPLE BRATZ you BROWN BI-" A sudden slice of pizza splats in his face and he screams. "AAAAAGH MY !!? PORES !!??!!"

The others turn with raised brows and look at Lance, who still has his throwing arm raised. "Nothin' but NET >;) !!" Lancey Lance chants. All the mice high five him. And Allura and Keith start to laugh.

Pidge stirs a bit. Still unconscious.

Acxa snorts a little too, despite herself.

"See?" Allura continues. "You could never be as much of FAILURE as Mr. Prince of the Universe, dying over there." Keith leans off of his girlfriend a bit so that she can reach out to take Acxa by the hand.

Acxa hesitates but then lets Allura grab hold of three of her fingers. (Allura's tiny Altean hand is so small compared to Acxa's larger half-Galra one lol.) They shake hands like diplomats.

Then Allura gets a bright idea. "Hey, why not join our team?" she offers suddenly. There's a light girly excitement to her voice, as if she's just invited Acxa to a sleepover or something.

Acxa quirks her brow.

"WHAT!" Lotor squeaks, his face already breaking out from having contact with all that pizza grease. "Wh- NO!! That isn't fair!! That is NOT how this is supposed to wORK!! Acxa, you once said you were NOTHING without me !!? Remember !?"

Acxa coolly rests a hand on her hip. "So what are you trying to say you want me back now?" she asks.

Lotor tries to respond too quickly and he only stammers. "NO???" he gets out eventually. "NO!" he repeats. "You are still a failure and a FAILURE you will remain until you complete my goddamn directives SUCCESSFULLY Acxa! If you want back in my squad you'll have to prove yourself to me and EARN your PLACE!"

Acxa tips her chin. Her hair sways a bit with the motion. "Hmm. Sounds like a lot of effort, Prince Lotor," she tells him. She looks back at Allura and Keith and smiles. "Team Voltron is offering to accept me as I already am. Wins, failures, and all." She cutely tucks a loose strand of dark blue hair behind her ear and looks back down at her Ex-Leader. "I think I'd like to give them a try instead."

"Ayeee good choice!" Lance says, throwing her an approving nod and a wink when Acxa looks his way.

Acxa smiles back at him a bit.

"WH-!?" Lotor cannot believe.

"Excellent!" Allura beams at Acxa, gripping her hands excitedly now. A million 'sisters day out' plans play across her mind all of a sudden, like a sort of cute and fun movie montage.

"NO!!" Lotor screams.

Keith smiles at Acxa too. "Welcome to the team," he says. And he shakes her hand. When Acxa smiles back at him though, there's something about the way her eyes wrinkle up that Keith finds ... oddly familiar ... though he can't quite pinpoint just what. He just nods at Acxa approvingly. And Acxa nods back. "You can call me Keith, by the way," he tells her. And this is Allura. Princess of Altea and love of my life. The girl knocked out over there is Pidge. And those are the space mice. Plachu, Chulatt, Platt, and Chuchule."

Acxa waves at the lil mice. "A pleasure to meet all of you. Um, on a more personal level. You all may refer to me as Acxa."

Lance coughs loudly from where he's sitting. So loudly in fact, he wakes up Pidge from her sleep.

"Huh who's there?" Pidge mutters.

"Oh. And the goofball cradling Pidge is Lance," Keith adds offhandedly.

Lance ignores the slight. "Welcome to Team Cool!" He clicks his tongue and makes finger guns at Acxa. 

Waking up now and suddenly realizing that she's all curled up in Lance's arms, Pidge nearly screams. 

She like LAUNCHES herself ten feet away from him (Langst) and looks around the room. Trying to fuckin catch up.

Keith just thinks for a second. Then he snaps his fingers. "Anyway. We could really use a fifth teammate, Acxa. The best friend I've ever had growing up of all time ever is missing and well. We've been short one paladin for long enough."

Allura clasps her hands together again. "Yes! You could be our Yellow Paladin Acxa!" She gasps. "You can be a fellow LEG!"

"Acxa!!" Lotor pipes up again. "I swear on my father's DEATH BED you BETTER BE planning on double crossing Team Voltron or some shit !!! Or else you are NEVER rejoining my rank !! I mean it !! THAT'S it !! Go on their side and we are enemies for life, sister !! No takesies backsies !!! END OF THE GOD DAMN LINE !! I'm SO damn SERIOUS !! I-"

But Acxa doesn't seem to be listening to him. She's too invested in all Allura is telling her about how they can get matching outfits to wear below their armor and necklaces that say 'right leg' and 'left leg' on them in sparkly letters.

"ACXA!!" the Prince squawks.

Acxa turns. Flips the hair from her face. "What?" she asks her Ex-Prince. Irritant.

"Did you hear a WORD I just said? Or am I really to be the character foil of that lanky surfer boy over there who keeps getting ignored because he doesn't know how to act!?"

"H-hey?" Lance yelps.

Acxa shrugs. "I dunno what tf you're talking about, Lotor. But listen. I heard you okay. And truthfully? I don't fuckin give a damn. I've been on team Voltron for a full two minutes and already my confidence has been lifted more than it has EVER been lifted my entire goddamn LIFE. Why would I ever want to work for you again, I mean really? Ezor just texted me that she quit today. And she wants to hang out! With me! FOR FUN! This is like! More than I could have ever asked for? I'm thrilled as FUCK to be Yellow Paladin now. Like!" She scoffs. "Suck my tits, dude. Lol."

"Omg!" Allura jumps. "Ezor!? Is that the girl you're crushing on? I SAW HER TODAY! She's cute as HELL Acxa!!!!"

Acxa blushes slightly and nods. "Yeah. She really is ... a lot of fun to be around too, despite our ... occasional arguments."

Allura takes Acxa by the wrist. "Okay that's it! We are flying to the nearest Space Mall right NOW! You NEED to be the prettiest Paladin that Ezor EVER sees next time we cross paths!" She thinks. "We need to get you some gear, Acxa! And some accessories!!"

"Gear and accessories are my middle name," Acxa tells Allura, just before Allura yanks her out the door.

The two of them laugh and keep talking as Allura leads the way to the Castle Hangar.

Keith looks at Lance (sulking as he stands up) and Pidge (rubbing at her eyes and trying to figure out what the hell is happening and where she even is) and nods towards the door. "Come on guys. We're heading to the mall." He also exits the room. But not before Lotor tries to get his attention one last time.

"You foolish fool..." Lotor hisses. "Just you wait. Acxa is no mere damsel in distress. She is the MOST loyal General in the entire Galra Empire. Neither of us may know it just yet, but I am CERTAIN she plans to double cross you. There is no way she isn't truly on my side!" He starts to evil laugh, but it's cut short when Keith aims a random blaster he gets out of no where at Lotor's face.

And shoots.

Lotor's screeches as the plasma blast rips through his hair, cutting it short like a mullet.

"Save it, you overgrown Oompah Loompa." Keith tosses the blaster over his shoulder, while Lotor yells and cries about how hideous he must look now. "Let's go Pidge and Lance!" he calls out one more time. And then he just walks out into the corridor.

"We're COMING, jeez." Lance reaches out a hand to help Pidge onto her feet. "Sorry about cradling you in your sleep Pidge," Lance apologizes sincerely. "Just wanted to keep you out of harms way during the fight scene."

"Oh," Pidge cuts him off, taking back her hand so fast Lance almost takes it personally. "No no! N-no need for apologies." Pidge adjusts her glasses, looks up at Lance, and then ducks her eyes again. Lance's eyes are all blue and crystalline and full of concern. He raises a brow at Pidge. "I was just, uh umm, startled. A bit. But. Um. Thank you." Pidge plays with the sleeves of her pajama top.

Lance shrugs. "Oh. Well. You're welcome." He shoves his hands into his hoodie pockets. Rocks on his feet.

There's an awkward-ish silence.

Then Pidge just grabs Lance by the fringe of Allura's fluffy sweater and leads him out of the room. "Come on! We'd better go before Keith and Allura and Auxia or whatever her name is take off without us!" she says.

Lance salutes his hand at the Prince just before Pidge yanks him out the door. "Rest in peace, Lotty Dot!! Lol."

Lotor just flips them off.

And then the evil Prince whimpers to himself and curls his injured body up on the floor. ( He's not in pain anymore, all his bleeding wounds have clotted up and his Galra strength keeps him from feeling much physical ails at all.) But!! His HAIRRRR!!!

Lotor cradles each disembodied luscious lock of platinum blond hair between his fingers. He takes out a compact and looks at himself.

One glimpse though, and he starts to sob ever HARDER.

"MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!!" he cries out, to no one.

It's just as ugly as Keith's.

 

☆

 

At the mall, Allura and Acxa become besties mad quick.

(The REAL gay + bi solidarity here, people!)

"There!" Allura says, carefully shoving another shopping bag into Keith's arms. "Now that you have your new Paladin Armor," she tells Acxa. "We just need to buy you a formal outfit to wear to diplomatic galas! Oh! And some fluffy yellow Paladin Lion Slippers!"

"You get that stuff at the mall?" Keith asks, adjusting the bags in his strong ass arms. He has no idea how he ended up being the one to hold them, since he hadn't bought anything. But to be fair, Allura and Acxa both have several of their own bags hanging off of each arm.

"Of course silly." Allura lovingly pecks his cheek. "Where else would we buy things?" She laughs.

Keith glances at the camera. Sometimes he forgets he's dating a literal spoiled Princess.

"Sounds good to me," Acxa says, in reference to the formal wear. "I haven't bought myself a new dress in _ages_."

"Oh! What is your favorite color?" Allura asks her. Then her eyes brighten. "Better yet! What is Ezor's favorite color? We'll buy you two new gowns. One for your own aesthetic, and one to get you laid ;)"

"Oh..." Acxa is kinda surprised by the offer. "Allura, you really don't have to do that—" she starts to protest. But she is met a 2nd time with Allura's angry eyes, the ones that remind her never to refuse a gift from an Altean princess. So she accepts. "Well ... my favorite color? Is red," she admits. "And Ezor's is yellow ... conveniently enough." She blushes again and tucks some hair behind her ear.

"Weird ... red is my favorite color too," Keith says. Just a tad suspiciously.

"Oh, cool," Acxa tells him. Also a lil suspiciously. They exchange a look.

"Oh you'd look RADIANT in a wine red dress Acxa ... !!" Allura exclaims. "In a shimmering champagne yellow gown as well!!" She taps her chin. "Oh, and I know JUST the store!" she says. "Come with me, you two!" She takes Acxa by the hand and leads the way. Keith follows behind but keeps a steady pace. Allura is so nice and accepting that he can't help but feel just ... so extra goddamn in love with her right now. 

He can still remember back when Allura felt she couldn't even trust HIM due to his relation to the Galra. And now she was welcoming one of Lotor's former top generals into her heart. Just like they had been best friends or something like that for forever.

Something about all of this just feels so right to Keith.

Almost as if it was always meant to be this way.

 

☆

 

Meanwhile.

It doesn't take long for Lance and Pidge to get their asses arrested by mall security.

They don't even raid a fountain for money, or buy a free cow this time, or ANYTHING.

All it takes is some lewd teen alien guys talking sideways at Pidge, and Lance failing to hold her back before she clocked them all.

(It REALLY doesn't help that one of the guys is literally the first born son of a the Mall's chief Space Mall cop, either.)

"I'm sorry Lance..." Pidge mutters softly.

They're sitting next to each other on a bench behind bars in the Mall Jail.

Lance's knee bumps hers a little. And Pidge immediately retracts her own, bringing her legs close together.

"If it weren't for me..." she goes on. "We wouldn't be locked up in here. Waiting for Keith or Allura to check their goddamn phone messages, which they NEVER check." She sighs. "I gotta stop blowing my top and overreacting to shitheads."

Lance scoffs at that. "What? Dude are you kidding?"  He'd kinda just been resting, leaning against the Mall Jail wall, with the hood of his hoodie (which he's wearing over the cute ass sweater he highkey doesn't plan on giving back to Allura) over his head. Hands in his pockets. It'd been a long ass day and he's exhausted. Both emotionally and physically.

But he sits up to look at the side of Pidge's face. Even though she doesn't look back at him.

"This isn't your fault Pidge? Listen, those jerks do NOT know how to flirt with pretty girls properly okay." He sucks his teeth. Leans back again. "They totally had it comin!! In MY, totally correct opinion, you spared them. Otherwise, they woulda gotten that beat down from someone else eventually. Someone a LOT less merciful than you."

Pidge smiles a tiny bit. "Yeah. That's fair."

"And you were TOTALLY badass!!" Lance goes on. "The way you just!!" He makes karate chopping moves with his hands. "HYA! BAM! KAPOW!" And stands on the bench. "And then that one guy was like, 'hey sugar' and you were all 'who you callin sugar?' and like!" He jump kicks and makes more fighting sounds. But then the security guard sitting outside the cell noisily clears his throat. And Lance takes the hint. He plops back down next to Pidge, and nudges her knee a bit with his own again. "Anyway. You were AWESOME. Nothing to apologize for, Shorty." He ruffles up her floofy hair with his hand.

Pidge smiles a little bit more. Hugs herself. "Thanks."

Lance shrugs. Pokes out his mouth. "Just stating the facts."

Pidge doesn't really reply. She's kinda acting really ... weird ... tbh. So. Lance just tries to cheer her up some more.

"I swear Pidge. If you hadn't taken care of things? I'd have had to step in."

Pidge scoffs a little. "You would have tried to fight them, Lance?"

"Hell fuckin yeah ??? You know me. I'm always prepped to serve up goons some fresh knuckle sandwiches, plated with a large side helping of slap sauce ... I mean someone's gotta teach those bozos a lesson in chivalry." 

He smiles when Pidge finally laughs.

"Thank god I stepped in before you did," Pidge concludes, rolling her eyes.

The image of Lance getting his ass served to him makes her smirk. And the image of Lance fighting for her honor (as lame ass as it was) makes her stomach ache little bit.

"I mean," Lance continues. "Ngl, I'm glad I'm not like ... trapped in kiddy jail here all alone either." He shrugs again. "Could be worse. I could be trapped in here with KEITH." He shudders.

Pidge thinks about that for a long moment.

The security guard outside of the cell is distracted (playing Space Mystic Messenger on his holo or something, I dunno) and no one but Lance can hear her right now. So she takes a breath. 

"That reminds me. Lance. Um. There's something I've ... been meaning to tell you."

Lance picks at the fringe of his hoodie sleeves. They're getting worn and old and frayed, he notices. "Oh yeah? What's that."

"Um. Just. Something I've kinda been keeping a secret for a while ... f-for like ... a year in fact."

Lance's ear perks at the word 'secret' and he smiles at Pidge. "Ooooh?" he coos. Leaning much closer to her and talking in an obnoxious whispered tone. "A secret huh? We talking a good secret? Dark secret? Incriminating secret?" He blinks. "Did you kill someone?"

"No!" Pidge cuts him off, in a hiss, and shoves him away from her. She rolls her eyes again. Then she thinks. "Well. I mean, yeah TECHNICALLY dude. We've all been at literal WAR for almost two years now, I think we've ALL killed somebody-BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT LANCE." She smooths her fluffy brown hair and then hugs her knees. Takes another breath.

"Listen. You know how like, until Chapter 2 of this heinous fic I had been essentially a devout yaoi fangirl...?" Pidge lets out a breath when Lance nods, remembering. "Well ... I think ... I think part of that was because I-I was attracted to the idea of certain guys falling in love ... not really because I was a gay ally or anything ... but because I was the one who liked them," she admits. "Like? I think I was just projecting. To be honest."

Lance ponders on that for a second. "Wait, Pidge, I thought you were gay?"

Pidge quirks an eyebrow at him. "Huh? Why'd you think that?"

Lance shrugs. He's about to say something but then he seems to change his mind. "I uh ... hm. I don't ... really know .... tbh." He honestly can't remember where that idea came from. Maybe he read it on Tumblr or something.

Pidge shrugs too. "I'm pretty sure I'm bi. But I guess I still have time to figure out which label suits me most accurately. I'm not too worried about that sort of thing." She shrugs again.

"Hell yeah. That's fair." Lance agrees, bumping her knee _again_. "Joining the team's Bi Squad!! Alright Pidge!!"

Pidge snorts a little. "Wait ... doesn't that leave Shiro with the team's Gay Squad all to himself? Guess he owns the whole HQ."

"Damn..." Lance agrees, leaning back. "I'm jealous. I wish I had my own Gay HQ." He pouts. "Unfortunately I'm stuck sharing with you plebs." He thinks. "Well actually. Hm. If we're being all honest and confessional here Pidge ... I might as well tell you a secret too."

Pidge looks at him with interest.

Lance rubs at the back of his hooded neck. "I ...... I'm not .. so sure I'm. You know. Bisexual. If I'm being real with you."

Pidge's jaw drops. "What???"

"Don't get me wrong!" Lance adds quickly. "I'm definitely NOT fuckin straight, istg! Or at least. I'm ... I dunno. I don't know what to call it really. I'm not like, ONLY into girls or whatever. Just like. Not into dudes? I'm like ... masc4fem, if that's a fitting term, you feel me?"

Pidge considers this. "What about Keith? He's like ... the opposite of feminine, dude. And you liked him."

Lance raises his brows. "See, that's the thing? I'm like ... ehhh?" He makes an 'it's iffy' motion with his hand. "I just don't know anymore. I dunno. I think the whole time I thought I'd been crushing on Keith, I'd really just been crushing on Allura. And seeing them together made me jealous because of THAT you know. It's like ... my own sexism blinded me to what was going on. Or maybe it was anti-blackness. Maybe both. Can't ... be sure. But yeah ... Anyway, once I actually thought about it, I realized it'd be a cold day in hell before I find myself romantically attracted to a donut hole like KEITH." He shakes his head. "It was really just Allura all along."

Pidge's shoulders slump a bit. She sighs. "Well. You don't exactly get to choose who you like," she agrees. "It just. Happens."

"Yeah." Lance shakes his head. "Man, I hate that part. Lmao."

Pidge looks at the floor. "And. Sometimes. You can not be aware of your own sexuality before meeting someone that makes you rethink it. In yaoi culture, they call that an 'awakening."

Lance leans back with his hands behind his neck. Closes his eyes as if to rest again. "Yeah, well. IRL I think that's just called 'pandering to rabid fangirls' ... like, how can just one person alter your entire damn sexuality."

"I dunno ... I mean, it made sense in all the BL manga I've read? It's not sound ... scientifically ... but. What about romance is?"

Lance shrugs too. "Hm. Guess anything's possible," is all he says.

"Anyway," he adds after a second. "Thanks for not ... disowning me or anything. You know. You say you're a fujoshi but ... you act like a pretty realistic ally Pidge. So I don't think you are."

Pidge smirks. "What, like. A Het ally you mean?" she jests.

Lance scoffs. "EXCUUUSE me but! I'm still LGBT you know! I'm just! Like! LGBT .... minus the LGB part!"

Pidge snorts. "Haha!" She sticks out her tongue. "Then I've STILL got you beat by one letter. LGBT, minus only the LG." She raises two fingers in his face. Which Lance gently grabs and pushes away.

"Damn it..." he mutters. Trying not to smile. Pidge's hand is literally so tiny and soft in his ... he doesn't know why in the world he notices that. But he does. "I can't believe I've been one upped yet again," Lance says. And he rolls his eyes. Langst.

Pidge yanks her hand back. And settles against the wall next to him after that. They both chill and close their eyes.

Pidge checks her phone after a minute. But Keith and Allura STILL haven't replied to her texts. The stupid knuckleheads. She sighs.

Then, after a moment, Lance peeks one eye at her from where he'd been leaning against the wall. "Anywaaays ... back to YOUR secret," he says. "So. You said something about being attracted to the Klance Bois huh?" He quirks a brow mischievously.

Pidge's eyes widen. And her insides practically sink. "Damn it..." she whispers. Hoping she'd circumvented that stupid part of their conversation.

"Sooo what...?" Lance scratches at his chin nonchalantly. "You uh ... you interested in Keith? Or ...?"

Pidge hugs her knees and looks at the floor. She groans a little bit in that way she does when she REALLY doesn't feel like talking about something.

Lance peeks both eyes at her then. "Pidge?"

Pidge sighs loudly.

"...No." She mutters. "No. I don't fuckin like KEITH okay?"

Lance pokes out his cheek with his tongue. "Hm." He eyes the ceiling. "So. I mean ... I'm no scientist, or whatever ... but uh ... like, judging by the, what's it called? Process of elimination here ... "  


Pidge practically growls. "UGH! Fine! Yes, Lance! You're right! Okay? You've figured it out."

Lance looks at her. And blinks. "Figured what out?" 

Pidge covers her face with one hand like she has a headache.

But Lance is practically grinning. "Wait wait wait ... You mean? Like? SO YOU!" He points at her. "You MEAN-" He points to himself.

Pidge looks up at him, so  fast that Lance almost jumps back.

"THAT I LIKE YOU? YES LANCE!" She yells. "I FUCKIN LIKE YOU OKAY!! JESUS CHRIST IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT TO PIECE TOGETHER."

 

☆

 

Keith stands against a mirror while Acxa looks through a rack of sweaters.

Usually ... he'd be bored out of his mind by now.

(This reminds him of shopping with Shiro back in the day ... god what a nightmare that always was.)

But he takes the opportunity to stare at her, and ponder over WHAT the hell it is about this Galra ex-General that has him feeling like he's practically known her all his life or something. Long before this weird adventure in space ever began for him.

But then Allura walks over to the both of them, carrying a sparkly pink sundress.

She looks so bright and happy Keith forgets whatever he'd just been thinking about.  She really DOES love going to the mall, Keith realizes, mentally taking note. He should take her here more often. And just for fun.

"What do you think of this one, Acxa?" Allura asks. She presses the strapless pink dress up against her, and twirls around.

Acxa kinda just. Blinks.

"Oh, uh. Hm." She tilts her chin. "Not really ... my ... style? But, wow, you'd look fantastic in that dress Allura."

Allura makes an innocent :o face at her. "Really?" she says. "I had NOT even thought about that? Lol?" 

Acxa starts to say "yeah you should totally try it on" before Allura takes off towards the dressing room. All on her own.

"I'm going to try it on!" Allura calls back to her boyfriend and new bestie, over her shoulder.

Acxa blinks again. She's still not used to this dynamic.

Shopping with her fellow generals was always a lot more chaotic and loud. Usually involved running from security and Kova and Narti and her keeping watch while Ezor and Zethrid stuffed their bras with small purchases.

It's kind of nice just shopping like a normal citizen for once. It's like shopping by herself but. With people who actually get her.

Acxa smirks a little, endearingly, at her new Princess friend. And she turns back around to continue looking through her sweaters.

But then she SCREAMS.

Because Keith just standing on the other side of the rack, staring intently at her through his emo bangs.

"Um..." She blinks with mild concern. "Uh, everything alright over there? Keith?"

Keith squints at her. Acxa starts feeling a bit on edge again. 

Maybe their fight isn't over after all. Maybe this was all another trap.

"There's something I've been trying to figure out here," Keith says. "Maybe you can help me out."

Acxa glances at the camera. "Uhm. Yeah. Maybe."

Keith heaves a sigh. "Why do I feel like I've met you before?"

Acxa raises an eyebrow. "Uh. Because you did? In the Weblum? And then in the Ulippa system. Remember?"

"No no..." Keith shakes his head. "I mean like. Before that. Before all of that. Before Ulippa, before the Weblum ... don't you feel it too? Like? That there's something about us that's almost ... related? Or something?" He searches her face for some kinda validation and finds none of it. "Like ... some kinda vibe ... or anything like that?"

Acxa just squints right back at him. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

Keith's shoulders slump. "Hhh. Never mind. I'm sorry. I guess I'm just ... imagining things." He sighs. "I dunno. I thought...?"

"Who is your father?" Acxa cuts him off, all of a sudden. Her voice betrays just a tad bit of urgency.

Keith looks at her in surprise. "He ... he's from Earth. He was just a weird recluse. Human. Asian American. Born and raised in Arizona. Really believed in aliens, and the apocalypse and shit like that. Like. Religiously. Kinda raised me to be a little paranoid?" Acxa only blinks again at that. "Who's yours?" Keith asks.

"My father was a traitor to the Galra Empire," Acxa replies. Not skipping a beat. "I have no idea if he's alive or dead now. I swore to never be like him when I came of age. And yet. Here I am."

Keith nods slowly. "Who ... was your mother?" he asks even more carefully.

Acxa expression changes at that. "I ... I did not know my mother very well. She left me when I was very young."

Keith's expression changes a little bit too. "Mine ... mine too."

The two of them look at each other suspiciously for a long time. Puzzle pieces wanting to fall into place, but refusing to, in their brains.

Then Allura comes back. All dolled up, like ... magically.

Her Princess hair is all fluffed in a high ponytail, her deep brown skin shimmers in the store's pink-ish glowy dimmed lighting, and she's wearing the sparkly pretty dress she picked out just minutes ago.

"What do you think!?" she asks, her voice full of delight. She starts twirling around in place, also wearing a pair of tiny silver heels.

Acxa's jaw drops. "Damn ... um? Incredible? You look positively GORGEOUS Princess Allura."

Allura beams and then looks to her boyfriend. "Keith?" she asks.

Keith's like, scanning her entire body. Slowly. Mouth agape. "Uhhhghh..." is all he says.

Allura looks at him with concern on her face. "Keith?"

Keith shakes his head. "Uhm. I meant. You look great, Lu. I, uh." He shoves all of the shopping bags in his hands into Acxa's arms over the rack of sweaters. And starts walking away. "I have to use to the restroom. Be right back."

And he just. Leaves.

Allura blinks.

Acxa laughs.

"God... He really likes you," she tells Allura. "It's fuckin adorable." Then she nods at Allura's pocket. "Oh, your holo is lighting up."

Allura looks. "Oh, dear!" She takes out her holo and quickly reads up on her notifications. "It seems our friends have gotten themselves fuckin arrested :/"

Acxa raises her brows. "You say that ... like it happens fairly often."

Allura grumbles and takes some of the bags from Acxa's hands to help her balance the load. "No. Just more often than it should." She heaves a sigh. "We must go. After I buy this dress, we're gonna have to bail them out and leave the Mall before someone recognizes us as Voltron's Paladins."

The two girls then hit the cash register, and quickly exit the store. When they do, Keith is already back from the bathroom.

"What's goin on?" he asks, when he sees the vaguely frustrated look on Allura's face.

"Lance and Pidge are in fuckin jail."

When the three of them get to the Mall Jail, though, they find that Lance and Pidge are no where to be found.

"Hey. Excuse me," Keith asks the mall cop playing some sort of weird otome game on his phone. "Have you seen a short 16 year old Human girl with light brown hair and glasses? Or a tall 17 and 8 months year old dude with dark brown hair and a hoodie anywhere around here?" 

The mall cop waves his hand absentmindedly. Utters something in his alien tongue.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Keith asks. He lowkey gets prepped to set this dude straight.

"He says, he let them go?" Allura translates. "And that they couldn't have gotten far." She looks around. "Maybe they're in the arcade?"

So they all go check. And lo and behold Pidge and Lance ARE at the arcade.

"Pidge! Lance!" Keith says, tromping over to them and balling his bossy leader fists. "What the FUCK are you doing?"

Pidge looks over at Keith Acxa and Allura. There is the happiest smile on her face !!

She has a GIANT stuffed sea turtle in her arms. And next to her Lance is playing some kind of arcade water ski boating game where he's like, getting a pretty damn high score, Keith notices.

"Look at what my boyfriend won for me!!" Pidge exclaims, raising up the sea turtle. "I've named him Aloysius!" 

The camera zooms in on Allura and Keith suddenly.

" _ **BBOYFRIEND**_!?" they both exclaim.

They're both making very anime-esque 0_o !! faces at Pidge. 

"Aloysius?" Acxa asks ... no one in particular.

Lance glances over his shoulder at everyone. "Oh hey, all," he says. "Yep! That's me! BOYFRIEND of the YEAR! Lancey Lance!" He leans back sharply on his arcade speed boat, flexing his arms, and does a flip in the game.

"Don't get ahead of yourself," Pidge tells him. Then she yells. "Dude dude dude!! Look out for that shark!"

"Oh damn!! I see it! Good call, Honey! <3"

Keith and Allura are just like ,,, blinking rapidly at the whole damn situation.

 _What ... kind of ... plot twist ..._ ??!?!?!?!?

"Did ... did NOT see that coming," Keith admits.

Acxa laughs a bit. "Aw, so they're a couple too? You guys are all positively adorable."

Keith looks at Allura. And she looks back at him. They shrug. 

"Yes. Well." Allura checks the time on her holo. "We really should be going now guys. Now that Acxa has her Yellow Paladin gear, we should hurry up and form Voltron again before the masses start to lose faith in us. Or," she adds tapping her foot. "Some of us end up back in the Mall Jail >:/"

"Oh, don't worry about that Princess." Lance gets another point or something and Pidge lightly punches him in the arm supportively. "The Mall Cop dude basically let us go cause we were So Goddamn Precious lol. We're like, Jail Proof at this point." 

"Yeah. Well. In case you forgot," Keith reminds Mr. and Mrs. Goddamn Precious. "We still have like A WAR to win you knucklehead. Let's a get a move on everybody !! We got what we needed here, let's head back to the Castle."

"Aw man," Pidge grumbles, as Lance skids to a halt on his arcade boat thing. "But we were gonna win Aloysius some accessories :("

"Hey, no worries Sea Star." Lance tells her. "We can always come back here and chill after the war. You can even hack the thing so that we get a BUTT load of tickets in one go!" He swings his legs over the boat ride, and pats Aloysius's fuzzy stuffed turtle head as he gets off. "Wars don't win themselves! Gotta make the world a safer place, right? For the baby."

Pidge sighs. Pouts. "Yeah. I guess. For the baby." She starts to exit the arcade. "Come on, Aloysius. Let's get you home to the Castle."

"I just had a thought," Lance adds, wrapping his arm around Pidge and falling in step beside her.

"Oh wow! Congratz! Say congratz to your father, Aloysius."

"PIDGE!" Lance frowns.

"Aha, kidding kidding, go ahead what was it?" she asks, nuzzling her face lovingly into the crook of his arm.

Lance smiles at that. "I had a THOUGHT that Coran could babysit Al here while we're out on missions and junk."

"Oh ... true. Hmm." Pidge thinks. "But Coran would likely turn Aloysius into a Space Pirate or something. Like, within an hour's time," She looks up at Lance with mock concern. Which makes the both of them smirk a little bit.

"Damn. Yeah he's ... not the best influence," Lance agrees. "We'll have to pay for a sitter."

"We might as well have the T.V. raise our son," Pidge reasons.

"LEt's GO you guys!" Keith beckons. Already half way down the hallway towards exit.

Allura and Acxa just keep walking at a normal pace behind him. And Pidge and Lance behind them.

Lance frowns. "Anyone but Uncle Keith." He thinks for a moment. "Or Auntie Allura tbh. She's full of love but ... terrible with children."

Pidge laughs. And affectionately leans her head against Lance's side.

She's highkey glad she told Lance the truth about liking him. She doesn't have to project through made up BL nonsense anymore. She can enjoy having him all to herself. For real now.

Lance squeezes her shoulder a bit. He's highkey glad too. I mean ... Katie is like ... the girl of his dreams.

Smart. Beautiful. Funny.

And she doesn't care about his millions of flaws ... she's seen too many of them for him to fool her with his usual razzle dazzle. God, why does it always take him forever to figure out what he wants ??? He shakes his head at himself.

Langst. Or rather ... Plangst? He can't decide.

Really, though. He's just shocked someone as cool and smart as Pidge wants him ... like ... at all.

And as the new Voltron Squad exits the Space Mall, Lance lowkey starts to worry about that. 

How is he gonna keep someone as inquisitive and quick thinking as PIDGE GUNDERSON a.k.a. KATIE 'HACKER TECH WIZARD EXTRAORDINAIRE' HOLT interested in a guy like ... him ???

He doesn't have much time to worry though.

Because as always.

In split second.

Everything just goes to shit.

 

☆

 

"I am SO excited for you to pilot your lion!" Allura tells Acxa as they step into the Space Mall Parking Lot Hangar Area Place.

"Yeah," Keith agrees. "You'll really like it."

"You will LOVE it!" Allura says. "It's so rejuvenating! Unlike any other ship you've ever piloted before, no doubt!"

"Cool! I'm excited :)" Acxa says. She notices Keith kinda smiling at the Princess (again) like ... he's really so so glad they're getting along or something. And strangely enough ... that makes perfect sense to her. Like ... she was getting along with her brother's girlfriend or something oddly ... normal. Like that. "So. You said your dad built the Lions?" she asks.

"Yes!" Allura says. Her pretty new dress and perfectly detangled hair shimmering in the starlight.

"And I get to pilot Yellow, that's so rad?"

"Mm hm!" Allura nearly skips like a child. "And finally, there will be more girls on the team than boys! ... No offense, Love."

Keith raises his hands. "None taken. Sounds like a much better balance to me."

"Wait so ... Shiro," Acxa continues. "He's your brother Keith?"

"No, not actually. Shiro is like. More of my best friend ever of all time. I just call him my older bro because you know, he kinda took me in and took care of me like one. When I had no one else, and I was like ... some age younger than 16 and he was like some age younger than 23 I think? But yeah, we're not actually related. Or of the same ethnicity or anything."

"Ah." Acxa nods. "So Shiro, your uh. Not-Brother who's Like-A-Brother ... he used to pilot the Yellow Lion before he disappeared?"

Keith and Allura look at each other. 

"No," Allura says carefully. "Um. Actually ... we still cannot remember who flew the Yellow Lion before today."

"Yeah ... it's ... it's really strange." Keith agrees. "Whoever they were, they must have not been very interesting."

Acxa just ... makes a :/ face at the both of them. "Really? Like ... you can't even remember their name? Or their gender? Or anything? Were you guys like ... not very close or something?"

Keith shakes his head. "No ... that's not it."

"Yeah," Allura says. "I am fairly certain at least Lance and Pidge were close to the Yellow Paladin. They all attended the Galaxy Garrison on Planet Earth together, as fellow cadets. Keith was there too, of course. But he had no friends."

"Hey, no, I-!" Keith starts to protest. Then he just kinda backs down. "Well yeah. Basically."

"Wait ... so Lance and Pidge." Acxa gestures to the couple (and their sea turtle son) walking together behind them. Lance and Pidge are laughing about something with their arms around each other (and their giant 'baby' in between them) trying to avoid the cracks in the pavement or something. "They were like, actual friends with this person? And they still don't remember even their name ??? :/"

Allura and Keith shrug.

"That's... pretty fucked up you guys..."

"I guess?" Keith agrees suddenly more interested in his magical dagger than this conversation.

"No matter," Allura says. Touching up her floofy hair, and looking at herself in her pocket mirror. "That is why we have you! The NEW Yellow Paladin, right? :D"

 

 ** ** **" ** _WRONG!_** "** ** **... _says a voice so LOUD all of the Paladins nearly fuckin DIVE to the ground to take cover !!_

 

☆

 

PART II: HE'S HERE 

 

⋆☆⋆ 

 

Everyone ducked and covered. But Allura is, once again, the first to look up and see what the HELL just happened.

The Princess peeps through her fingers up at the sky, where the loud mysterious voice had come from.

And she sees. Staring right back at her.

From the blazing bright clouds and stars ... what looks like ... the Sun? ... but also ... a dude?

Like ... some handsome ass human dude.

Except ... he's radiating sunlight ... like ... like the sun.

So Sun Dude just frowns at her. Arms crossed. Brows narrowed. Lips pouting.

His silky dark hair flows majestically around his full face.

And a strange feeling washes over Allura as it suddenly dawns on her that she's seen this dude before.

She searches her mind for a name ... she can practically taste it ... she swears it's on the tip of her tongue ... !!

Then she remembers.

" **Hunk!?** "

She speaks his name softly, and almost more to herself than to him.

"Oh ... that's what it was! Hunk! The Yellow Paladin!" That was Keith. He looks up at Allura momentarily peeking through the rough biker boy fingers of his hands. "You're so good at remembering things, Allura."

Allura just rapidly starts patting Keith's shoulder with her hand. She pulls him close by his wrist. "No, no, Keith ... Look! It's! Hunk!"

Keith makes a ??? face but then he too looks up at the heavens. And immediately and instinctively he steps in front of Princess Allura, as if to shield her from potential harm.

"Holy Shit??" he says, reaching for his bayard. "Hunk is ... **a god**!?" He feels at the sides of his black jeggings for his weapons. Urgently. But his sheaths are gone. "What the ... !?"

" **Looking for these?** " says that loud voice again. Keith looks up to see Hunk just !! spinning !! both the Black Bayard and his Magical Family Marmora Blade !! in his glowing godly hands !!

Keith frowns. Then he starts marching forward. "Yes!" He clenches his fists. "Give them back, Hunk!"

Allura yanks Keith back by his bicep. And she wraps her arms around his arm to keep him still. "KEith," she says right into his ear. "Listen I know you're fuckin terrible at picking your battles but maybe do Not fight someone who is literally probably A God ???"

"Hunk is a _god!??_ " That's Lance. He looks up from where he had crouched down over Pidge, his gf (holy shit !!!!! he STILL can't believe that??? PIDGE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND!!??) and up at the sky. "HOLY DAMN!!" He practically shields Pidge (and their baby Aloysius) with his entire lanky body. "HUNK?? HOLY FUCK!????"

Pidge peeks out from behind Lance's back to see. And then her eyes grow ten times in size. "WOOOAH OAO !!" she says.

" **Oh, so NOW you can remember my name? Huh, Lance?** "

Acxa has already backed like a yard away from the others. "W-wait..." she says. "Th- **THAT** is your former Yellow Paladin? The one I'm supposed to be replacing?" She looks at Hunk In the Sky with Diamonds through the handles of the shopping bags she's lifted before her face. " _Uh-uh_ _yall_ ... I'm ... I'm out." She turns on her heels, prepped to _book_ it.

"Wait!" Keith calls out to her, Allura still hanging off his arm. "You can't LEAVE??" Acxa stops to look at him. "Acxa, what about loyalty? You're just gonna bail on your family? Again? Twice in one day? And after all we've been through?"

Acxa blinks. "Yeah, actually?" she replies. "I think I'm getting pretty good at this whole bailing on weirdos who put my life in danger, thing. It's really a life skill I should have developed earlier." She just keeps backing away. One step at a time. "Sorry, you guys. I wanna live! Thanks for the gifts though. And I'll definitely text you once I ask out Ezor, Allura! Tell you how it goes!!"

Allura pouts. "But-but ... Acxaaaa?"

"Later!!" Acxa salutes them all. Looks once more at Hunk. Shudders. And then just fuckin bOOKs it out of there. As FAST as her shapely half-Galra legs can take her.

Never to be seen again.

 

☆

 

Team Voltron is ... uncomfy to say the least. 

"I just don't get it guys :/" Hunk says.

His so-called friends are all standing close together now. Pidge behind Lance, who's next to Allura, who's behind Keith. Cowering in fear from the God Hunk display before them. "Like? I hate to be the bad guy here. Or the The Final Boss of this weird ass story. But ... what the fuck? I know for a god damn FACT I'm not as forgettable as y'all say >:/ So what fuckin gives?"

All the other Paladins look at each other, as if trying to decide who ought to say something first. 

Allura, the diplomat of the group, is once again the first to speak. 

"Um. Well ... dear, Hunk. It isn't that. So much. As it is that? Well? You're not ... that well written I guess?"

"Yeah!" Keith is by Allura's side immediately. He takes her hand for support. "It's not us Hunk! Or you! It's ... it's the way the story is written! We love you buddy. Of course we do. But you're just ... so .. uh ... you know. One dimensional?"

The others all nod and nod. That sounds like a progressive enough explanation to them.

Lightning seems to flare around Hunk's hair.

But he just continues to chill in the sky with his arms cross and chin dipped down.

"Mm hm. Okay." Hunk says. His voice is _chilly_ with a bitterness none of them seemed to have ever expected from him. "I hear you, I hear you. Except here's the thing..." He gestures for them all to lean a little bit towards him. And when they do, he fuckin yELLS!! from the skies across the Space Parking Lot. " _ **I HAVE JUST AS MANY DIMENSIONS IN CANON AS THE REST OF YOU FUCKS**_."

When they're all so blown back that they practically fall backwards, Hunk stops to clear his throat. And waves his hand absentmindedly. "I mean, not as many as like. You and Allura, Keith. But that's because you two are like the Main Mains. I'm more of a side main, with Lance Pidge and Shiro. **BUT YOU GET WHAT I FUCKIN MEAN.** LIKE get ALL the way out of here with that bullshit guys. In any other show that may sound true and pc and shit. But NOT this one. This script gives me PLENTY of fuckin development. And if you ignore it, that's on you! You can't blame the creators for that. So TRY the fuck again." He furrows his brows and crosses his arms.

The other paladins all try to think of a better argument. "Uhhh..."

Hunk seems to just be getting more and more impatient though.

 _If they never get past him, The Final Boss, or get him back on the team_ , Keith realizes, _they'll never get to return to the Castle and form Voltron and save the Universe again !!!_

 _It's the classic shounen anime predicament !!_ Keith realizes.

As if reading Keith's mind, Allura tries again.

"You are!! Um!!" She raises a finger. And her high ponytail flips around and her eyes sparkle up dramatically like in an anime girl action sequence. "A most EXCELLENT example of FAT REPRESENTATION !!! >;D" she says heartily.

The others all nod and agree!! Voice their agreements!! And Allura smiles!! Proudly! Triumphantly!

"Thanks for the approval guys!" She bows. "I got that one from Tumblr ;3 haha — AAAAAAGGH!!" She scREAMS suddenly when she is levitated by Hunk's god-like magic RIGHT off the fuckin ground and STRAIGHT into the air.

"Allura!" Keith calls out to her, reaching out for her with his hand.

But then Keith gets levitated too. And so do Pidge and Lance !!! :0000

Soon they're ALL each floating in like their own sparkly magical bubbles above the parking lot area hangar w/e place !!!!

And Hunk is just crossing his arms at them all. Shaking his head.

"Really guys? Really? Like no offense but ...? You SEE all this godly magic I'm wielding, right? I really could just *zap zap poof* snap my fingers. And just like that. You're gone. All of you. It'd be THAT easy. That's all it would take!"

They all look at him and gulp.

"And that's what you want your last words to be?" Hunk continues. "'Hunk, you're fat.'" -_-

All of the Paladins are a little to freaked out by being in magical levitating bubbles to respond right away.

Except for Allura, who has seen magical technology her whole existence.

Nothing quite fazes her anymore.

"I-I think you being fat is part of what makes you hot tbh?" Allura insists. "Um, Sir ... uh, God ... Hunk."

"RIGHT!" Keith agrees. "AND STRONG," Keith adds. "That is. To say. I don't even like, consider you fat? You know? You're just like ... uh well you know ... Big Muscle. Yeah, that's it. Just big muscle dude!"

Pidge adjusts her glasses. Floating upside down in her bubble with Aloysius. "I don't care much for the size of my friends as long as they make decent companionship," she says. The PC!! Qween!!

Lance nods. Flailing around trying to find some sort of balance in his magic bubble. "Mm hm. ME. Same same!" He gestures vaguely. "Hunk, I don't care if you're fat skinny blue or green!! I don't even like, SEE size if I'm being honest here—"

" **ENOUGH!** " Hunk bellows. "NOPE! Shut UP Lance!"

"What!? But-" Lance begins to protest.

"I said SHUT UP you piece of fuck!" Hunk tells him again.

Everyone zips their lips.

And hunk makes a -_-* face at them.

"Are you guys ... like?" he asks. "Serious right now? Are you being for real? Like really tho?"

His fellow Paladins all look at each other. Not sure what they could have said that wasn't politically correct :/

Hunk shakes his head. Just. Wow.

He is so disappointed in them all right now. So disappointed.

"I don't mind being FAT you weirdos," he explains since apparently they need a fuckin explanation. "I AM fat. Just like you're all scrawny and noodle legged! I'm fat and tall and full of life!! I own that!! I love that. But what I DON'T fuckin gEt is why that's the ONLY think you guys can ever think to talk about when it comes to me !!! Like I can't believe I'm seriously just 'the Fat Guy' to you people and NOTHING else. I mean do any of you know ANYthing about my personality? My story arcs? Relationships? Anything?"

They all ponder on that for a second. 

"Oh! Um!" Allura raises a finger. "You are ... very very caring! And very anxious! And very kind!" she suggests.

Hunk just looks at her for a second making a -_- face again. He loves Allura a lot. He does. But it's like ... sis omfg. "Anything ELSE?"

"And strong!" Keith points out. Again. "Like breh you've got ... biceps for literal days." He whistles. "Like. Damn."

Hunk's expression softens a little but he's still vaguely annoyed. "Keith you said that already :/" he reminds him.

"Yeah KEITH!" Lance shakes his head. "Stop being so goddamn thirsty for Hunk's sexy biceps !! You've a girlfriend dude, JESUS LORD! And can't you see Hunk is upSET?" Upside down now, he makes finger guns at Hunk through his legs, as best he can. "Anyway Hunk, as your BEST FRIEND, I know ALL about your winning personality ;))"

"OH!" Keith yells back from his bubble. "So I'M the one that's thirsty?? Says the guy who LITERALLY gave him the nickname 'Hunk' to override his real actual name!!"

"False!!" Lance snaps back. Jabbing out a finger. "Me giving Hunk that nickname is actually just a popular misconception !!!! He got that nickname from some where else !! Long before I met him >:)" He shoots his two finger guns at Keith. " _Boom boom_."

Hunk just sighs. He's already dating someone he's very much happily in love with and he doesn't have time for this. Nor does it flatter him very much to be lusted after by a couple of knuckleheads who can't even remember his goddamn name half the time.

"Okay, thank you for that Lance. That, actually, is true." He waves his God-like hand around, gesturing in Lance's general direction. "So if you don't mind, could you maybe tell our friends my real name? I mean it's on all the Wikis just like your names. So."

Lance's face goes from a confident >;3c to a much less than confident 0.0;

"Huh?" he says. "Uhhh?" he replies. "Your? Real? Name?"

Hunk squints at him for a long time. "You don't even know my real name do you."

"No no!!" Lance waves his hands defensively. "No? Pfft?? Ofc I do ?? I just ... ahh ... ermmm .. uh well."

"IT'S TSUYOSHI GARRETT!!!" Pidge pipes up, out of no where.

"Yes!" Lance agrees, pointing at her. "See? I TOTALLY knew that already. Thank you for the reminder Sea Star <333" He blows a kiss at his genius girlfriend.

Allura and Keith nod approvingly at Pidge.

But Hunk only squints at Pidge.

"Pidge ... dude, did you just look that up?" he asks suspiciously.

Pidge looks around. "Uhhhhhh..." she says, her voice trailing off...

"You fuckin DID didn't you? You're wearing Google Glass right now as we speak !! Aren't you !?" Hunk exclaims.

Pidge clears her throat. "Well. Actually. These are an OFF-brand modification of my brother's spectacles, not exactly Google Gl-"

"YOU KNOW WHAT GUYS?" Hunk raises both hands. "I'm done. Just! Fuckin had enough! You don't know my name! You barely notice when I'm missing for like two whole goddamn chapters! Or when I have literally one (1) line in the opening! And you don't even see me as a character like the rest of you? Just some fuckin static throw-away tossed into the story for representation? That's fuckin sick!"

The paladins all slump their shoulders.

Allura especially looks heartbroken. 

She's all about bringing people together, so this realization ... fucks her up a little bit.

"I am SO sorry Hunk...!" she says. Her eyes glimmering with sparkly Altean tears. "You are correct! We do not pay enough attention to you and that is of no one else's fault but our own! TAT You ARE just as essential to the narrative as the rest of us !!!!!"

Keith agrees with his girlfriend. "I'm sorry too man... We even went on some pretty choice adventures together, come to think of it. Just me and you. And when Allura and I were going through it, you were on both of our sides. Reminding me she didn't actually hate me, and reminding her that I was still a loyal Paladin. Plus, you made me feel a lot better about my heritage by joking about it and ... and you made me feel ready to be a leader by letting me guide the mission in that Weblum. AND, damn, like ??? You evem called me your brother once? And hugged me? After we had managed to form Voltron for only the second time?" Keith thinks. "And even the first damn day we met, you like ... not only believed in my theories about the Blue Lion energy emission but also took them seriously enough to build upon them immediately. Without you ... we would have never located Blue at all in the first place :/ I'd have never met Lu."

Pidge hums in agreement. "You know. You're right Keith ... if not for Hunk none of us would even be out here right now. And I wouldn't be nearly this close to finding my family. I've been looking for my dad and for Matt for over two years now!! Almost three!! I would have never met Allura, or befriended Shiro ... or you. I'd still be in disguise and looking for my family from the limited reach of Earth !! And Lance wouldn't be my boyfriend !! Hell ... Lance would probably be dead already !! Hunk, you were always the voice of reason keeping him out of trouble. Most of the time anyway." She shrugs. "Plus you like, have been my tech and engineering buddy this whole damn space adventure. I would never have come up with HALF of the tech I've built out here without you to bounce ideas off of and to inspire me. I don't know HOW I could ever fuckin forget you ... I'm ... I'm so sorry. Damn."

Allura clenches her little fists beneath her chin. Sparkly magical tears practically sprinkle from her tear ducts and glisten all over her lashes. "H UUUNKK!!" she cries. "YOU were the only Earthling to ever be patient enough with me to teach me all of your inside jokes and memes and cultural nuances like how to play road trip games and make puns !!!! If not for your immense bravery on the Balmera, I would have never discovered how powerful I am and how much my ability to wield quintessence exceeds the abilities of Alteans before me !! And I would have never begun to start reforming allies for the coalition my father begun thousands of years ago !! Without you we would have had NO scaultrite lenses to escape Zarkon that one time and we'd all literally be DEAD !! And you KNEW Rolo and Nyma were up to no good !! You saved us on that day !! Just by being skeptical no matter what we said !! I swear, dear Hunk, the very day I met you ... I knew you'd be our Yellow Paladin who holds the team together. And you have not only lived up to my expectations but have gone far beyond them !! I ... I apologize for EVER letting your beautiful existence slip my mind !!! .・゜゜・(*´□`)・゜゜・."

Pidge Allura and Keith all sniff a lil bit. They feel so so bad for forgetting Hunk :(

Hunk just kinda makes a :/ expression at everyone. He's thankful for all they're saying tbh. Ngl.

But it's like ... c'mon y'all.

Then Lance starts to speak up.

"Bro ... I ... I think I owe you an apology more than the rest of these guys. Cause, let's be real. I've known you the longest out of all of us. And I have the least amount of excuses to dismiss you like I have. So ... yeah. I ... I'm sorry man," is all he says.

Crickets chirp for almost half a minute.

"That's it?" Hunk asks him. Genuinely curious.

Lance had crossed his arms and closed both eyes, so now he peeks one eye open at Hunk.

"What do you mean 'that's it'?" he shoots back. "What do you want me to say, Hunk? Huh? Do you want me to CRY and thank you for being my only friend at the Garrison when most of the other cadets wouldn't vibe with the Cuban immigrant kid raised on a farm? Or take me seriously for the longest time since the day we met in the Garrison's First Generation club and you gave me some free samples of your Mom's killer Samoan dishes?? For always making me feel cool and less than embarrassed even when I make a total goddamn fool of myself?? For being my hype man? For protecting me from people who wanna take advantage of my ADORABLE vulnerability because I'm so trusting and you're so? Not? For keeping me in check when I take my selfishness too far sometimes??? For all the nights you let me chill in your bunk with you because I missed the feeling of sleeping in a bed with like five of my cousins at once? For! F-for! FOR ALWAYS LOVING AND CARING ABOUT ME? AND LOOKING OUT FOR ME EVEN WHEN I DON'T ALWAYS LOVE OR CARE OR LOOK OUT FOR YOU? OR ... OR EVEN MYSELF SOMETIMES !??" Lance screams, floating on the heels of his sneakers. "Well TOUGH LUCK buddy !! You're not getting any SAP out of THIS MAPLE TREE just because you have me floating in a magical space bubble and could SMITE me with your godly wrath any time !! I'm not gonna CRY and THAT is that!" 

Lance crosses his arms and turns away from Hunk grumpily. Sniffling a bit.

Allura, Keith and Pidge all slowly turn to look at Hunk. Cringing in apprehension.

But to their surprise (and relief) Hunk is just ... like ... laughing.

They all blink as Hunk starts to literally CHUCKLE (adorably!!) at Lance!

Hunk laughs so good naturally, Lance turns around again in fact.

"What are you laughing about >:'/" Lance asks.

"God ... just ... Lance. This is why we're best friends. _You donut hole_." Hunk shakes his head. "Listen. Remember that one time we saved an entire underwater civilization all on our own?" He asks Lance.

Lance looks down at the ground and then back up at Hunk. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Well." Hunk just kinda shrugs. Leans back against some clouds. "Remember how I beat you up? When I was mind-swished?"

"Yeah. My ribs hurt for hours, how could I forget?"

"Aha. Yeah. Well listen, I gotta confess ... I wasn't ... actually ... mind swished at the time ... :/"

Lance blinks. "Wait." And then does a double take. "WH at?"

Hunk shrugs. "Sorry, dude :/ But sometimes like ... you really just get on my fuckin nerves. And no amount of snark or underhanded comebacks or passive aggression gets through to you, you know? I guess I had a lot of pent up rage." He frowns apologetically. "But anyway," he goes on. "I say all that to say ... I'm NOT a saint in the very least. And ... I guess. I just miss being best friends with you ... 'cause at least you never psyched me up to be some kind of goodie two shoes sunshine boy ... you know?"

Lance is still stuck on Hunk confessing to have beat him up on purpose.

Lance raises his hand and opens his mouth to give his so called god-like best friend a PEICE of his MIND !!

But then ... he stops. And looking Hunk straight in the eye ... Lance just starts ... to laugh again.

"Dude, I'm ??? I thought you fuckin LOST it that day ??? Lol. Listen ... had I known you could fight like that before hand, I woulda fuckin bragged about it ALL the time to EVERYONE who knew we were best friends! You literally nailed me in front of those mermaids bro. I legit thought you were gonna kill me! Lmaooo!"

Hunk belly laughs. "Right!! I almost was too!! :D"

Lance wipes a sweat bead off his forehead. "Aha? Oh? ... hahaha."

"Haha xD !! But, nah I wouldn't have taken it THAT far you know. Just close enough so that you'd never cross me again, lol." Hunk breathes, settling down from his laughter. "Well ... anyway ..."

"Yeah..." Lance agrees. "Ha. Anyway..."

Hunk smiles at Lance :)

And Lance smiles back :)

"Anyway," Lance repeats. "Not to be sappy Hunk," Lance adds, his voice a little deeper and more emo than before. "But like. I dunno what I did to deserve a friend like you sometimes to be honest. And just ... uh. Well. You know ... th-thanks for being mine."

Hunk smirks. "You didn't do _shit_ is what," he tells him. His voice soft too. "But, of course man ... I wouldn't have it any other way."

They share another warm look ... when suddenly a cute and sweet lil voice from the horizon calls Hunk's name.

" _Hunk!! Is that you?_ "

"Oh, shit..." Hunk mutters, looking over a cloud behind him.

Then he just magically starts to flash brightly and mystically with transforming beams of light.

He SNAPS! his fingers so that each of the magical bubbles he formed for his friends just POP! and each Paladin falls back to the ground.

Keith lands on his feet, steadies himself. And then Allura falls and lands in Keith's arms. 

Lance lands on his ass, curses at himself. And Aloysius lands on Lance's lap. And then Pidge lands on Aloysius.

Hunk takes his enchanted godly headband (that he hadn't been wearing this whole time) out of his pocket and swirls it around all around him. The beam of light gets brighter and brighter.

Until none of his friends can see him any more.

And then, when the light fades away, Hunk is back on the ground again.

Like a normal human teenager.

Dressed in his awful Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle outfit (that is almost as awful as Keith's Gundam OC attire, jeez) and his headband wrapped perfectly around his silky, black hair.

Hunk flips the hair from his eyes as chill as possible while his friends only gape at him in awe. 

"Listen guys," Hunk tells them. Straightening his outfit. "About what happened just now ... I forgive you. Don't worry about it." He smiles. "Also, you know ... don't talk about it ever again. I don't really want anyone else to know I'm a goddamn deity, you feel me :/"

All the Paladins just kinda stare at him.

"Oh, yes! Of course!" Allura says to him eventually. Inciting the others to speak.

"Promise!" Pidge says, pretending to lock her lips with an invisible lock and key.

"I don't even KNOW what tf just happened here so." Keith shrugs exasperatedly. "Yeah. I won't tell anyone."

Hunk winks. "Good. Thanks guys. And thanks for appreciating me. Just, you know. Do it on the regular from now on, and not just when I have you in my magical levitation grasp, okay? It ain't gotta be like that."

"Okay!!" everyone replies.

Then Hunk turns back towards the horizon.

And !! Running over to him !! Is !!

HIS LOVELY GF SHAY !!

"HUNK !!!" she calls out to him.

Shay is wearing a pretty little floral tunic dress and a flower crown and some expensive silver homemade Balmeran jewelry. 

"Shay !!!" Hunk calls right back. 

When Shay reaches him, she grabs Hunk by the torso, and spins him around the air. She hugs him tight before putting him back down on the ground. "Oh! How I've missed you, Sky Boy!" she tells him.

Hunk responds by sweeping Shay off her feet suddenly. And kissing her face so that she giggles. "I missed you too, Shay."

He kisses her and kisses her, until she gently shoves his face away. "So, what's cooking, Sky Girl?" he asks. And she just starts excitedly telling him all about her day.

Keith and Allura and Lance and Pidge kinda just ... watch in awe as Hunk reunites with his girlfriend.

None of them are sure exactly what to say ... or whether or not to interrupt and say hi.

The two of them (Shay and Hunk) seem completely preoccupied with each other. So.

Soon enough Keith, Allura, Lance and Pidge just decide against disturbing them.

Hunk is his own person. With his own full, and adventurous, romantic and interesting life. Unrelated to the rest of them.

And a life that is ALSO so deeply intertwined with theirs ... they'd never be the same without him. 

They know that now.

And they're never forgetting this again.

 

☆

 

It turns out that Hunk and Shay have a date planned (at some fancy ass diplomatic Balmeran gala the other paladins weren't invited to apparently rip) so Hunk tells the group he'll meet them back at the Castle later on.

They all split up and say their goodbyes.

Just glad to have the whole team back ... minus Shiro. Wait. Um ... backspace.

Glad to finally have their beloved _Yellow Paladin_ back, I meant.

Yeah.

The search for Shiro is to be solved another time. (Like I dunno, in Season 4 lol. I didn't want to speculate too far.)

Anyway.

Even with Shiro missing ... team Voltron can fly once again.

At last.

And THAT, at least, is a good plot twist :)

 

☆

 

Pidge and Lance decide to head back into the mall and finish their first date at the arcade. ("A man's gotta properly finish his lady's date, or else, what kinda man is he???" as Lance puts it.) They still gotta win their turtle son some clothing. And maybe a water gun or something. So he can fight alongside them in the War against tyranny.

Allura and Keith let them go and decide to just head back home.

They're exhausted.

So two of them leave Pidge and Lance their Space Pod Starship and decide to take a Space Taxi back to the castle for once.

That way, no one has to pilot it.

And they can just chill.

And relax.

And lean tiredly against each other in the back seat.

Like fifteen minutes into the ride, the two of them look at each other for a moment. As if on cue.

Then they both just. Sigh in relief.

Being teenage co-leaders is a LOT more work than either of them expected. But ... at least they're taking it on together. 

For real now.

Neither one of them can even imagine life before they worked as such a Perfect Team, as hey grasp their hands together.

It's as if ... ever since they fell in love ... everything just started to fall together and make more sense.

Lotor was defeated. And the Prince's formerly Evil former Generals became allies with Team Voltron.

(Well. At least one of them did. And maybe Acxa will get her girlfriend, Ezor, to join their side too someday. Only time will tell.)

Their love really is saving the Universe.

Princess Allura had been right in her letter to Keith (from way back in Chapter Two).

And really ... isn't that all that matters?

Allura looks away eventually to lean against Keith's shoulder.

But Keith can't take his eyes off her. Can't stop thinking about getting to be home alone with her for a few hours.

Allura's hair is perfectly falling all over her face again, her dark skin glowing from the day's exertion, and her strapless dress slipping just slightly too low as she shifts a bit and rests sleepily against his side.

Her flowery strawberry ocean breezy scent never fails to make Keith feel safe and whole and in love with her.

And her sound breathing coupled with the soft whir of the Space Taxi's mechanisms soothes his nerves.

Everything ... was okay for once.

Everything made sense.

It really did.

Keith doesn't want to fall asleep just yet. Not until he's got his arms wrapped around the Princess, safe and sound in the warm twisted sheets of his bed, and the comfort of her soft hot skin pressed against his own ... but he slips off to sleep a bit anyway.

It's been ... a LONG ass day.

And Allura, feeling safe wrapped underneath his arm, her small hand resting against his chest ... slips off a bit to sleep as well.

For the first time in forever feeling like she's right where she ought to be.

 

☆

 

PART III: WHAT REALLY MATTERS 

 

⋆☆⋆ 

 

But anyway. Who cares about any of THAT bullshit am I right ??? lmaooo xDDD

The more IMPORTANT question is !! WHO WON THE SHIP WAR !!!!!! :00000

 

☆

 

Was it **Shiro x Keith**? The two brothers from different mothers?

Was it **Hunk x Keith**? The one mlm pairing in the show that is 0% problematic?

Was it some other combination of the Paladins and Allura that no one really cares about sincerely because really the only pairings that people argue about with a passion are the ones involving Keith except maybe I guess Shallura?

Was it ... **Kallura** ?? Of all ships ?? (Which btw is not fuckin special or ANY more """canon""" than the other ships you HETS !! POC REP MY ASS !! MLM REP OR BUST !! Besides everyone KNOWS it ain't gonna happen haha like?? Just because it happened before doesn't mean it'll happen again you can quit trying !! You have no evidence !! Do you have a 44k essay prepared to defend this ship? NO !! DIDN'T THINK SO !! LOL !! TBH if you HONESTLY think that JUST because Keith and Allura 1. are a couple 2. repeatedly call each other Boyfriend and Girlfriend in this story and 3. were explicitly and very very obviously deeply in love with each other this entire story SOMEHOW means they're """"ENDGAME""""" then ??? You can just say you're a homophobe and go !! LOL !! What kinda het nonsense ?? KALLURA! AIN'T! *into a megaphone* GONNA BE *stands on a soapbox* CANON !! *lips brush the mic* AND THAT !! IS !! THAT!!!)

OR

WAS IT

*drumroll pleaseee*

bum badum badum badummm bum badabummm badum badum ba dummmm !!!

**K L A N C E ???**

The One True Pairings of One True Pairings !! The OTP of OTPs !! The most POPULAR Keith ship and therefore the ship that makes the MOST sense (despite the canon story) !! The most pure and wholesome pairing EVER !! no matter HOW warped Keith and Lance's characterizations have to be to make it work it just is !! And if you don't agree you're Satan or, uh, probably at least very fuckin racist !!

 

☆

 

**WHICH SHIP ????????????**

**WINS ?????????**

**_WILL WE ???????_ **

**_EVER KNOW ??????????!!_ **

 

☆

 

Well friends. Unfortunately. It is simply. IMPOSSIBLE to tell :/

**BUT!**

To be honest.

If anything other than **KLANCE**  wins this super important should-be-prioritized ship war?

that would be ... damn

*whistles*

some kind of plot twist indeed

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen if you managed to like, survive reading all of this then all kudos to you fr bro xoxo


End file.
